Woman: Will you get me one of those bags, too?
Suebob: Here you go.
Woman: Oh, no this is for a girl. I need one for a boy.
Suebob: I'm getting mine for a boy. Look, it is Noah's Ark. Boy elephant, girl elephant.
Woman (making a face): For a boy? No. This is for a girl.
Suebob: I think it’s a little early to start imposing gender roles on it, don’t you?
No, I did not say that last line. I stole it from Monty Python's "Meaning of Life". But I should have.
I mean, WTF? Are boys banned from hearts and rainbows even before they are born? How vigilant do we have to be to make sure our boys don't turn into homosexuals? Because isn't that what this is all about? You give them pastels in infancy and the next thing you know, they are rollerskating down Main Street on Pride Day in assless chaps, waving a rainbow flag and chanting "We're here, we're queer, because Auntie gave me the wrong wrapping paper"?
That would be so wrong. Because 1) all chaps are by definition assless so the term is redundant and 2) That chant does not even rhyme.
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24 comments:
I would absolutely have said that last line.
My son is upstairs right now in pink shorts and ponytails (courtesy of his sister). I'm pretty sure it can all be traced back to some pastels in his infancy. I'll be sure to mention it to his therapist.
The worst part is, the baby doesn't even *notice* the wrapping paper, so all this forced homosexualism is subliminal. Damn you people! You're monsters!
You'd better not expose any women to pastels at all, because the unfertilized eggs they carry could become a baby boy and you wouldn't want him to turn out "ain't right."
Wow, it's fun when the rant bug bites.
OMG - I am SO glad you said that part about the chaps? Because its true.
But seriously, I agree with every.last.word. of this post. Srsly.
I can never figure this kind of attitude out myself. I have a 2 (almost 3) year old boy with varied interests, and I certainly wouldn't want him to, say, stop cooking cucumber stew for me in his kitchen just because some dork thought it wasn't manly enough.
Oh, and he is totally taking dance and martial arts classes before I let him on a single ball field...
UGH. True dat.
I worked in a daycare many moons ago and one of the favorite toys (of both girls and boys) was a big purse. When I mentioned that to my dear fiance, he snarled.
So, you know what? If we ever have a boy? He's getting a purse to play with. ;)
that is great. and so true.
and i love the purse comment.
I wouldn't have blinked at that bag if you'd brought it to my house with a gift for Oliver inside.
Nope, I'd be all about the gift. ;)
The world would probably be a better place if all boys got pink paper...
I HATE this. I have a little boy (20 months) and he can't do anything the LEAST bit feminine without some male friend of ours making a comment.
As if he even HAS a sexuality at this point.
Wait 'til she sees him playing with a Barbie doll.
My kids both had Rainbow fish, all pastels. I guess my son is done for. ;)
It always makes me think of the psychological test they did where they wrapped all the new babies up in the "wrong" colored blankets and then let people hold the babies. They were way rougher with the babies in blue, because they thought they were boys.
Right now my BF's almost three-year-old son has pink nails. He has a twin sister, so when her nails are painted, so are his (I'm not the one painting them...). The other night he woke up and said he was cold, and wanted "pink pants." I put his sister's pink fleece pants on him. Then he wanted "pink socks" - so on they went. The next morning BF went into their room and said, "What is my SON wearing!?" I said, "His favorite color."
Anything you do for the mom before the baby is born is for her unless she is strict about her "theme" I'm sure she will like it!
After reading the other comments I have to agree with eden. There are just some things that boys are going to do!
Congratulations on your soon to be great nephew!
My son sometimes carries a purse and tries to apply my daughters play lipstick. (HIDE THE CHAPS!)
I let my oldest son wear a pink beret when he was little.
OH...and he was a Teletubby for halloween.
LOL!
Yes, you unborn nephew becoming a homo-sexual is all your fault. Although next time, really let it out and say it.
I don't want to be a downer but I have serious and sincere question to ask the mothers/fathers out there "When you decided to have a child, did any of you angst about what kind of world they might be inheriting?" Again, this is a sincere question. My husband and I have really seriously considered having children. Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to see some version of my husband in another person -- with all the excitement and passion for learning and living. But the thing I fear most is the fear they may face knowing the pain of water, fuel, and food (etc.) shortages, a chaotic and mad world where people aggressively and fiercely hoard what little resources they have from others. Sometimes I fear for myself as to what life may be like as I get older but I am absolutely terrified of the idea of what this could mean to my child. Yes, I understand adoption is an option and one that we are seriously considering but out of curiosity how did those who took that leap into parenthood get pass this mental or emotional hurdle? Again this is a serious and sincere question and on that I come back to again and again but am deeply afraid to ask my friends who are having children for fear or really alienating them.
So now Noah's Ark has a gender? OMG! What's this world coming to?
Heehee! I have 6 nephews so I'm sure I've had many versions of this conversation....
That bag is gender neutral, just a baby bag. That woman is a freakazoid.
This topic is something that makes me fly into rages all the time.
It also makes me wish for ye olden days when people didn't know the sex of their baby until it was born. Much harder to plan some crazy gender-themed nursery that way.
Don't get me started...It is like the dressing of kids ..boys all in dark dour colours...my boy wore and still wears bright happy colours...
I love how you convey such an important message through such biting wit and laugh-out-loud humor! I don't have kids but my nephew has always loved stomping around in his Mom's high heels ~ since his Dad's, my brother, favorite movie is The Sound of Music, they call it all awash, and then they watch slasher movies! :)
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