15 May 2009


God, this world gets stupider and stupider, doesn't it?

Just this week I have had to live through Jon of Jon & Kate stepping out on his wife and Elizabeth Edwards rehashing an affair that no one wanted rehashed. The worst part of that one was the stiff, judgy admission that she couldn't imagine telling a man he was hot. Oh, Elizabeth, honey, I think you need to put on some Tina Turner and learn to shake your groove thing! Pry open those pursed lips and let your man know you think he is smokin'!

Then I almost gagged when I heard Miss California Carrie Prejean sniveling about how she lost her potential Miss USA crown because the evil Perez Hilton gave her a low score after she gave a dumb answer about gay marriage.

It's not dumb just because she disagrees with me about gay marriage. The ANSWER is dumb. Watch:

Today she was going on about how in America we are supposed to have free speech and things like her losing the Miss USA crown weren't supposed to happen.

Word to the wise, Miss Carrie - we do have free speech in the United States, but we don't necessarily have free speech in the workplace.

At work we have to learn to zip it sometimes, and I would venture a guess that that extends to pageantry, as well. (Or whatever you people call the outdated sexist ritual you people indulge yourselves in).

Even if Miss USAing doesn't qualify as paid employment, you have to realize that beauty pageant queens aren't supposed to be smart and honest. Heck no! THAT would go against the ideal of femininity, which is what you are supposed to represent.

Like the Little Mermaid, you are supposed to shut up and be pretty, or suffer the pain of walking on knives (the original Little Mermaid, not the Disneyfied one).

At the very least, beauty queens are supposed to be diplomatic and to master the fine art of saying nothing while saying something. FAIL.

In stating your opinion on gay marriage (not quite as good as "opposite marriage") you insulted Perez Hilton, the bitchiest celeb blogger in history, and forgot one of the prime rules of life "You gotta know where it is buttered."

I work for Someone who hates the phrase "in order to." In my work, I write, but I also combine my words with pre-written text and with bits that other, smarter people give me. Then Someone edits my work.

You can be damned sure that, on my little to-do list for everything I send Someone, right after "spell check" and "eliminate passive voice" I have "search 'in order to.'"

I could object. I could say that "in order to" is a handy phrase sometimes. But you know what? Someone weighs in on my annual review. And Someone decides on my raise, and whether I am going to be working there next year.

Do I think Someone would fire me over "in order to"? No.

But I know where it is buttered. In order to keep enjoying my toast, even in America, I will refrain from invoking my 1st Amendment rights. And I won't snivel about it. I hope that my least favorite beauty queen will do the same.

Flurrious wrote a post on this same issue that is so much better and funnier than anything I have ever written that I saved the link til the bottom of my post, lest you click over there and never come back. Go. Read. Laugh.

10 May 2009

Grace in Small Things

When my dear Schmutzie announced her year long project, Grace in Small Things and invited other bloggers to join her, I rebelled.

The idea was that, every day for a year, you would post 5 things you were grateful for.

I said I wasn't going to do it. I even nagged other bloggers not to do it. If you ever want to make other bloggers really unhappy with you, try telling them what not to blog about. Ahem.

It took me a while to realize the problem. It had just never occurred to me that people aren't grateful all the time and have to remind themselves to be grateful.

I'm serious. I'm not trying to be all Little Miss Sunshine, but I guess somehow, some way, gratitude has become a habit with me.

Every day I wake up and count my blessings. Sometimes first I yell "OH CRAP! It's 5:15 ALREADY??" first, but right after that, I make my list.

Every day I begin with "600 thread count sheets." Not because 600 thread count sheets are the most important thing on my list, but because that is my habit, and they are really, really great, and they are RIGHT THERE, so what the heck. Then onto other things like "My family and friends," and "A roof over my head - in the most beautiful place on earth."

And that little moment of thanks opens the door to more gratitude. I used to have an Attitude of Bratitude instead of one of gratitude. I'm trying to turn that around.

Highly recommended. Better than vitamins for feeling good. Suebob says two thumbs up. Give it a try.

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