23 October 2010

The Raven Life List

My dear friend CC invented a new Life List today: Stuff I Have Done and Never Want to Do Again. Let's call it the Raven Life List ("Quoth the Raven: Nevermore"). Not quite as glamorous as some people's Life Lists, and certainly not sponsored by anyone, but worth considering nevertheless.

Get a haircut at Supercuts
Food poisoning from a suspect burrito
Be dumped for an ex-girlfriend
Have the ex-girlfriend come to a meeting I was leading - at my house
Dance with a guy who grabbed my boob
Break a high heel
Fart in a board meeting
Drop something valuable into a public toilet
Fly United Airlines
Have my car die on a freeway onramp
Pee my pants in public
Rent a room to a psycho
Be bullied in high school (hi, Jamie Lambert)
Fail a class
Be laid off
Deal with Charter Cable customer service
Eat leg of lamb
Lose my shoes in the mud
Have it rain for 28 days in a row
Live with an unmedicated person with bipolar disorder
Date someone who hated to brush their teeth
Have a landlord with boundary issues
Kill a rattlesnake
Be too cold to sleep
Go to a college on the quarter system
Lose an heirloom
Eat at Marie Callendars
Have the sewage back up in the yard
Go to small claims against idiots

Ok. Enough for now. You get the picture.

21 October 2010

More on the Rear-View Life List

I was talking to my brother-in-law about my blog post on the Rear-View Life List.

He said "You've done so much. When I look at my list, there isn't anything on it except 'Have dinner with Liberace.' That's it."

I said "Hey, wait a minute, you've done ALL KINDS of interesting things. You were a roadie for Bill Graham Productions, after all."

We talked for a bit and realized that his list includes:
- Holding Wolfman Jack's head while he puked
- Flying in a helicopter into a crowd of 500,000 people
- Getting a ride from Chuck Berry in Chuck's golf cart

That's what I love about this project. In two minutes, we had three amazing life stories that came flooding back.

And then, there's this:
Mikey Umping

17 October 2010

What's off my reverse life list

I found out that Dave had my reverse life list idea a long time ago. That does not make me feel stupid. Au contraire - it makes me feel great because it confirms that I am well-justified in having Dave as my not-so-secret blog crush.  (I plan on having my avatar marry his avatar and run away to Second Life, where they will live happily ever after, or as long as the Lindens last.) (Do people still do Second Life? It seems so 14 months ago).

ANYWAY...I am having a blast making my Reverse Life List. Every time I open my brain, something I did that was fun pops up. I recommend doing this - it's amazing what you remember, and how much cool stuff you have done without even realizing it.

So far I can cross off from my big Reverse Life List:

Fly in a hot air balloon
Ride a mule in Yosemite
Sue n ringo
Fly in a helicopter over Kauai
Walk a labyrinth
Take an award-winning photo

Build a Rose Parade Float
What building a float looks like
Pilot a helicopter (verrry briefly)
Pick macadamia nuts
Ride a recumbent tandem bike
See a horse being born
Drive a backhoe
Learn another language
Have the White House pastry chef make me dessert
Get a college degree
Volunteer on a presidential campaign
Make a good wine
Win a blue ribbon at the county fair
Drive halfway across the country
Be published on McSweeney's
Do the chicken dance
Drive sideways
Plant 20 kinds of sage in my yard
Climb a pyramid
Buy a recumbent bike
Roast my own coffee
Go to Oaxaca
Drive a Caterpillar
See Buck Owens at the Crystal Palace
Snorkel with sea turtles
Get paid to write full-time
Make beer
Play roulette in Vegas
Adopt a shelter dog
Start a food blog
Eat shave ice in Hawaii
Design a book
Get a big grin from Buddy Guy
Heal a very old wound
Hug chef Michel Richard
Go body surfing
Visit Washington DC
Study A Course in Miracles
Sail in a catamaran in high seas
Have Barack Obama answer one of my questions
Save a lot of trees
Go to a pro soccer game
Interview Anthony Bourdain
Protest George W. Bush in his presence
Get stopped by Secret Service (see above)
Be the 9th caller
Paddle a canoe with my dad
Have a peak moment
Go to chef school
Start a life blog
Manage a crew of amazing people
Go to baseball Spring Training
Marvel at the redwoods
Hike in Zion National Park with my dad
Jump off the Pismo pier
Watch fireworks from a yacht
Meet cycling legend Davis Phinney
Visit San Miguel Island
Be in the middle of a huge electrical storm
Help get a prisoner of conscience out of jail
Go to the Rose Parade
See a live condor
Condor wings
Ring in the new millennium
Play in the snow
Buy $250,000 worth of paper
Celebrate the Harmonic Convergence
See "Starry Night"
Read at a poetry festival
Dance on the lawn to Los Lobos
Course Marshal a pro cycling race
Read at BlogHer Community Keynote
Live by myself
See a meteor shower
Dance like a maniac to Koko Taylor
Write front page, above-the-fold story
Hang out in a yurt
See Half Dome
Protest a war
Interview a former first lady
Make mole negro
See a real autumn
Eat a grasshopper
Grasshoppers sauteed in oil with garlic
Dance to the Neville Brothers
Go to NYC
See the Grateful Dead
Ride in a speed boat
Go canyoning
Be a bleacher bum
Celebrate Samhain among 500 pagans
Take a yoga class from Judith Lasater
March for civil rights
Go to a nude beach
Attend Catholic mass
See a full eclipse of the sun

Take the Chicago architectural boat tour
Chicago River
Shop at LA's Grand Central Market
Help land a multi-million dollar account
Climb a mountain
Thank a great teacher from elementary school
See Bruce Springsteen
Learn street fighting
Experience an earthquake
Speak on a BlogHer panel
March in a Mardi Gras parade
Hear a symphony that makes me cry
Receive laying on of hands
See John Lee Hooker in a tiny venue
Do improv comedy
Make a bully back down
Hug George Foreman
Get hysterical
Receive an answer to a prayer
Give an award-winning speech
Hear Brian Wilson play "Smile"
Meet Rick Bayless and thank him
Fall in love with opera
Hike the Pinnacles
Eat bananas I grew myself
Learn to weld
Visit the Carizzo Plains
See Dave Chappelle
Participate in important scientific research
Swim with the US. Men's Olympic Waterpolo team
Raise a flower crop and sell it
See the day when the Berlin Wall falls

My Reverse Life List

Maggie Mason and her amazing hair have this thing about Life Lists.

(Well, maybe just Maggie does, and she might have just brought her hair along for the ride. I do not know for a fact that she consulted her hair.)

The idea is that you make a big list of things you want to do before you die, and then you do them. Simple.

The only problem is that I am too lazy and not at all goal-oriented, so even when I make those kind of lists, I lose the paper, or I forget about it even if it is right there on the fridge, or I change my mind, or I put stuff on the list that I think sounds cool at the time, but who do I think I'm fooling with the surfing lessons? I can't WALK without spraining both ankles.

So, I am doing a reverse life list. I am doing cool things first, and then crossing them off. This saves confusion and disappointment. Rather, it is entirely satisfying. Ah, one more item off my list! Why look, everything is off my list!

Hooray! Done! Until the next cool thing comes along that I can write down and then immediately cross off.  Instant gratification.

Reverse Life List:
1. Washing my hair in a waterfall.
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