30 December 2006


To tolerate my family, you have to be able to tolerate boredom. My dad retired when I was in college - the first time, about 20 years ago - and he and my mom have been pretty much sitting in their lounge chairs ever since, watching Judge Judy or whatever other Judge is on these days.

To tolerate Mr Stapler's family, you need to be able to tolerate ADD behavior. Conversations are begun and not finished. Arguments veer off track. Four people are talking at once while outsiders look on, bug-eyed.

I'm not sure quite which I prefer.

There is new stuff up at both Linkateria and True Employee Confessions. And please feel free to send confessions, past or present, to snackishblogATyahooDOTcom.

Throwing DVDs across the room

Do you like Colin Ferrell?

He's not really my fantasy-figure cup of tea, but I can see how people are attracted to him. He is dark and muscular and handsome and a pretty good actor, so if you like that kind of thing, you might fancy him.

I watched "A Home at the End of the World" last night on DVD. I should say "I watched way too much of 'A Home at the End of the World' before I got sick of it and yelled at the DVD player and turned it off, mad."

The movie is obviously taken from the writer's real life, and I am afraid that they made the mistake of putting a little too much reality in their story.

I once got to spend an evening with Dennis Palumbo, who has written a great book about writing.

He talked about how, if you have a great true story, you don't HAVE to stick to the truth - you can change things, embellish them, make real life BETTER. That's why writing is fun. That's why we keep doing it.

(As long as you don't do a James Frey and claim it is non-fiction.)

But my main problem with "A Home at the End of the World," is that Colin Ferrell is totally misused and I guess miscast in the movie. He walks around wearing a bad wig in the first half of the movie with this stupid moon-pie expression that is supposed to signify that he is a perfect innocent who doesn't see evil anywhere. He is forced to maintain that level of vapidity through the whole stupid movie (or at least the part I was able to choke down).

My message to the moviemakers is: Do not waste the Ferrell, people. It is one thing if a bad actor is cast in a stupid role. But when a good actor is stuck flailing around in the muck of a terrible part, it seems so much more tragic.

27 December 2006

Year end round up meme

I found this meme over at Sundry Mourning

1. What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before? Went to BlogHer, broke up a dogfight, lived by myself for a year
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? No and yes. Eternally hopeful, I suppose. I keep swearing to quit swearing.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Stephanie, Sarah and about 5,000 mommybloggers
4. Did anyone close to you die? Fucking Troy. He was more close to Mr Stapler than me, but still...ouch
5. What countries did you visit? How about counties? Do they count?
6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? Hot crazy sex
7. What dates from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Etched on my memory is kind of a big order.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Being happy by myself
9. What was your biggest failure? Letting myself get further out of shape
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? 2 nasty colds back to back
11. What was the best thing you bought? New brakes
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? David Eckstein
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? President Bush. Mel Gibson
14. Where did most of your money go? Fucking rent
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Do I have to keep saying Blogher?
16. What song will always remind you of 2006? It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? 
b) thinner or fatter? 
c) richer or poorer? Happier, fatter, poorer. I gotta work on those last 2
18. What do you wish you’d done more of? See question 6
19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Sitting on my fat ass in a cubicle
20. How will you be spending Christmas? Too late! But it was fun
21. Did you fall in love in 2006? With Kelly the new dog
22. How many one-night stands? That idea is way past its time
23. What was your favorite TV program? Top Chef - which is the ONLY TV show I watched
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Don't be a hater
25. What was the best book you read? My Family and Other Animals by Gerald Durrell
26. What was your greatest musical discovery? There really wasn't one because I never listen to music, oddly enough
27. What did you want and get? Peace and quiet
28. What did you want and not get? Question 6, question 6
29. What was your favorite film of this year? Stranger than Fiction
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I worked and Mr Stapler took me to dinner at a place that was supposed to be great - the Sidecar Cafe - but which failed miserably. 45
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Would you please just go to question 6 and shut up?
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006? Baggy and nondescript
33. What kept you sane? Walking my dog
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Craig Ferguson
35. What political issue stirred you the most? U.S human rights violations, including torture and incommunicado detention
36. Who did you miss? My sister Laura
37. Who was the best new person you met? CC
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006. The world deserves to know the real you
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. Well, how did I get here?

26 December 2006

Say it loud

James Brown was so cool that he could shout "Say it loud! I'm black and I'm proud!" and no matter what color you were, you wanted to be black just so you could proclaim YOUR blackness and YOUR proudness, too. I admit it - I sing along even though I'm the biggest white fool on the planet doing it.

Mr Stapler and I were driving home late Sunday night when we heard the news that James Brown had died. We agreed that he could make the simplest of songs mean so much. Like when he said "I feel good!" you automatically thought, "Dang, I want to feel like HIM."

Genius, pure genius.

I am praying for the spirit of James Brown to enter me. Despite all the appearances of me being a busy, active person, I am actually bored as hell. I want to bust out, but I don't know how or where yet. And I want it to feel GOOD.

Please please please PLEASE.

25 December 2006

Traditional Christmas

Mr Stapler and I went to the Jewish deli for lunch because 1) we love deli food and 2) it had the all-important qualification of being open on Christmas.

He dined on traditional Jewish huevos rancheros (must be Sephardic, not Ashkenazi and I settled on a falafel salad. Yum. I am a big fan of the garbanzo bean.

Our next stop was to get the traditional post-deli Christmas latte. There were three workers in the coffee place and no other customers. They were about half an hour from closing for the day and the two younger girls working there, who looked to be about 18, had spun themselves into a giddy pre-closing frenzy.

One was wearing reindeer horns and they were both talking and laughing really, really loud. We ordered our drinks (iced for me - it was about 80 degrees outside) and as we were waiting, Reindeer Girl began telling Short Girl how some guy was bugging her, and how she would deal with him next time.

She had a big latte foam spoon in her hand and said, "If he ever comes near me, I will..." and she swung the spoon around as hard as she could, to demonstrate.

Too bad she didn't notice Short Girl standing right behind her. The result of this was that she clocked Short Girl HARD right above the eye. Luckily it was with the bowl of the spoon and not an edge, which would have split Short Girl's noggin open.

Still, it must have hurt like hell. Short Girl fell to her knees, clutching her head. Mr Stapler and I watched helplessly as the other worker ran over and said "Oh my God, are you ok?"

"It was an ACCIDENT!!" yelled Reindeer Girl over and over.

"You HIT me!" said Short Girl, who ran in the back to ice her head. "Oh my God I think I'm bleeding."

"Good God, let's leave before there is more violence," said Mr Stapler. He and I gazed glumly at the counter where our completed order should have been appearing, had Reindeer Girl not struck.

"And then there was an embarrassed silence as she finished the drinks," said Reindeer Girl, looking at us.

"Indeed," said Mr Stapler.

The good news is that the drinks were actually pretty good.

I hope you all had pain-free Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

I hope you are all warm and snug and happy with family and friends.

Mr Stapler and I cooked a fabulous Christmas Eve feast for his family yesterday (Where we explored the age-old question: can you put too much butter in the garlic mashed potatoes? The answer is no, you cannot).

Then we headed over to St. Joseph's Episcopal Church for the midnight service. The congregation is getting older, so the midnight mass is now held at 7 pm so everyone can get home for a nice snooze - which is okay by me.

There was a 16-page order of service, and that didn't even include the homily. Being a pagan Unity heathen, I had never experienced such a thing. My church is more Religion Lite or rush service dry cleaning - in and out in about one hour.

We sang all the carols! And all the verses! And then some verses that were not in the program! And the youth group did 3 skits on the "what if Christmas happened today?" theme.

The homily touched on the evils of fast food - "God gave Adam and Eve all the fruits and vegetables and herbs of the garden, and man invented McDonalds. And man gained 10 pounds..." Which was kind of odd, but as a vegetarian I appreciate the hat tip. It swung on into more traditional subjects by the end - Christ's redeeming love, and the importance of getting enough fiber. Alleluia.

This morning I am at Mr Stapler's, where there is no tree and no decorations. But there was one present for me...a new digital camera. Sweeeeeet!

Photos to come as soon as I read the 300 page manual.
Back to top