Mothers Day

Hilarious Mother's day Gift Guide from I, Asshole. It is divided into sections for Good, Evil, Fun and Stodgy Moms.

Also, Mothergoosemouse has a funny song up about Mothers Day (to the tune of "Jet Song" from West Side Story):

"When you’re a mom, you’re a mom all the way…
…from your first poopy diaper to your last dyin’ day."

As my sister lay struggling to breathe through the pneumonia, her only child, my nephew, walked in. He arrived last night from the San Francisco Bay area.

Just last night we were looking at photos of Laura and my nephew when he was a brand new little baby.

She gazed into his eyes with the very same shining love she had 37 years ago, when she was a young, newly-married 21-year-old. Some things never change.

Happy Mother's Day, everyone.

So anyway

I don't know what to report. My sis is still in dire straits, bodywise.

It is weird because half of me believes so firmly in the eternity of our souls and that we will all be together and happy someday (everybody!). Kind of like BlogHer without the bitching and complaining.

The other half of me is stunned and horrified and in screaming emotional pain at the thought of never sitting out on the back porch telling stories with her again. That this big chunk of all our lives may just fall out of the center and leave a big ragged gaping Laura-shaped hole.

So many people love her so much. You would, too, if you met her.

A Course in Miracles says:
Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.
Therein lies the peace of God.

It's a hard one to get your brain around until you realize that the course defines "real" as "unchanging" and "eternal." So our bodies are not real because they change. Our souls, on the other hand, are real and go on forever.

At least I hope so.

Thanks again for your prayers and thoughts. I can feel them carrying me.

it keeps getting better

I love knowing you are all out there, cheering for my family.

Sis #2 arrived in good shape after an overnight flight.

Today is tracheotomy and stomach feeding tube installation day. That will get Laura off the ventilator and make her more comfortable. The pneumonia persists. She is pretty sedated but definitely knows who we are and what we're talking about. It is tough not being able to talk but facial expressions go a long way.

I got a cold. Yes. So now I can't go to the ICU. Ah, craziness. Frustrating to say the least.

Keep up the good thoughts. And the linky love (see post below.)

Thanks everyone.

The daily update

My sis is in and out of alertness. She can definitely follow what you say. She can only communicate with her eyes, though, which makes it tough.

My other sis is flying in overnight.

Despite all the heavy stuff and the tears, life goes on, oddly. Lunch has to be eaten, gas has to be bought, phone calls made. It seems like it should at least pause a while.

My brother in law is the best, kindest, most wonderful person on earth. I would so want him on my side if anything happened to me.

I'm in a hotel with a college girls' softball tournament. Fortunately, it is hot and the AC is roaring, so they are merely slamming doors in the distance.

Thanks, everyone. I appreciate everything.

Liveblogging this mutha

Might as well liveblog. I am at the airport hours and hours early, thanks to my genetic incapability to be anything but super-extra-prompt.

I got detained for the special security screening. It had to do with my other genetic incapability, the refusal to keep my mouth shut.

The woman before security screening said, looking as Bershon as she possibly could.

"ID BOARDING PASS" she snapped, not looking at me.

"mmmmPlease??" I muttered under my breath.

"Selective!!" she yelled.

Thank goodness for the extra 3 hours so they could paw through my shit in their own good time.

When will I learn?

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I am rocking the grooviest laptop case ever. I used to always borrow Mr Stapler's sedate black laptop backpack, but for obvious reasons those days are over.

So when I awoke today and decided to take my laptop with, I was puzzled about how to transport it.

In my big black purse? I tend to carry liquids.

In a backpack? Without padding? Too dangerous.

Suddenly I remembered that I had a case from one of the first Mac laptops ever made. A big heavy ass thing that was about an inch thick. The laptop is long gone but the case was buried in a container in my storage shed.

I dug it out and it was exactly as I remembered. Padded, secure, and a lovely shade of teal green that brings to mind Jane Fonda aerobics wear and the big bangs of 1987. Yeah!! I look so retro. But not retro enough to be cool. Story of my life.

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There is a big fat stinky guy with his shirt unbuttoned walking around the airport, his giant gut protruding over some cutoff shorts.

Where is he sitting? By my gate.

Where do you think his seat is on the plane? Want to bet? If it is 22B, I am going to start crying.

Update

I am going back to Illinois tomorrow night. I know I can't help my sis, but I am going off my nut being so far away.

Please pray for traveling mercies, or whatever it is you do. Thank you, everyone, for your kind thoughts and words.

I will see you in Chicago in 2 months under happier circumstances, I hope. Or if you are in the Chicagoland area now, email me and maybe we can have coffee - snackishblogATyahoo.com - sometime this week.

Updates will follow.

Like a Mastercard commercial

My friend from church, Dee, is 89 years old. Her 95-year-old sis lives just 75 miles away, but because neither of them drive, they hadn't seen each other for 3 years.

Dee often talked of how she wished that she could still drive so that she could go down and see her sister. I filed that away in my memory bank. When I bought my new car, I called Dee the next day to tell her that we needed to make that trip.

New Car: $15,000
5 gallons of gas: $17
Seeing this reunion: Priceless



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I am looking for a BlogHer 07 roomie. I am staying at the W. It is already booked. It is around $200 a night, so your tab would be half that plus whatever you eat from the mini-bar.

My room will not be the party all night room. It will be the flop-down-and-hide-your-head room when you need to retreat from the madness that is BlogHer.

But there will be Tanqueray. And tonic. And limes. And internet access.

If you need a reference, last year I stayed with Elizabeth from Table for Five. She can attest to the fact that I am kind of nice AND I bring presents.

In the case of more than one offer, I will decide who gets the awesome privelege of bunking with me by a Secret Formula given to me by an old gypsy woman. Or by whoever gives the best bribes.

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My sis still isn't out of the woods. Thanks for your continuing thoughts, hopes and prayers.