J'accuse

I have recently been accused of being a very bad person by someone. I can't go into the details, but it has been hurtful and weird and, even though I know the situation is crazy, it still has made me question my actions and motives.

Or at least it did for a while. But then I realized - dang me, I really DO try to do the right thing for the most part.

Sure, I'm lazy and sometimes careless and in no way perfect. But I try. Honest, I do.

Pull up your chairs, kiddies: story time!

This morning I pulled my car out of the driveway and headed down the street, glancing in my rearview mirror.

Where I saw a dead cat in the street. Which looked like my neighbors' cat, Penny.

I didn't think I ran over the cat - it looked quite dead - but seeing it set off a firestorm of thoughts.

- Should I stop and get my neighbors, who were most likely asleep?
- Would they want to be awakened with news of their dead cat?
- They would see their dead cat soon enough, right?
- But if it was my animal, would I want it lying out there in the street?

By then I was out across the intersection from which there is no easy return. You have to go All The Way Around.

I sighed. I realized that I had to go back to deal with the dead cat. My plan was to go home, get a box, get gloves, clean Penny up, and present my neighbors with the closed box, so they would not be too traumatized by seeing poor little Penny cat out there in the street.

I got back home - knowing I would be late for work, but oh well. I got out of the car and went to look at Penny.

What I discovered was a total surprise. Not only was Penny not Penny, but Penny wasn't even a cat. Penny was a rabbit. (Sorry, Suzanne). And no one I know on my street has a rabbit.

Off the hook for Death Duty. Whew. But I was willing to do it if I had to. This being a good person thing is a pain in the butt, but it is something we do day by day, moment by moment. And sometimes those moments are gross and weird and strange. But we do what we can, right?

"Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water.
After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water."
- from an old story about a Zen master

The Usual Question

This post will make no sense unless you have seen this video:


Today I was behind a car at a stoplight when I saw that, among its many bumper stickers, one said "Cake or Death?"

At the next stoplight I pulled up next to the car, which had its window down. I yelled "I'll have the cake, please!"

The woman first jumped out of her skin, then put her skin back on and started laughing.

That's my advice for the day: pick the cake.

The Rock and Roll Quiz

1. How did you get so rude and reckless?

2. Do you wanna dance?

3. Does anyone really know what time it is?

4. Is there anybody in there?

5. What is the frequency, Kenneth?

6. Do you feel like we do?

7. Who will stop the rain?

8. Could this be magic?

9. Are you experienced?

10. What is hip?

Please answer in full sentences.

Kristen Chase of Motherhood Uncensored

She asked when her photo was going up and I am happy to oblige.


2007, Chicago, with Drew

Insanity, grocery store version

First, a Red Stapler photo of Moosh In Indy, BlogHer Chicago 2007 - I think she had just started blogging. And now she is like Queen of the Internet.


I went to Trader Joe's and the checker and the bagger were laughing with tears in their eyes.

I just had to know.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Oh my God," the checker said. "This lady came through my line with a box of dog biscuits. After I rang them up, she asked me to hand them to her. I looked over and she was eating the dog biscuits."

"I swear," said the bagger. "I was there. DOG BISCUITS! Just munching them down."

"Then she noticed us staring at her," said the checker. "So she held out the box and offered us some."

"Like we were staring at her because she was eating in front of us and she hadn't offered us anything," said the bagger. "Not because she was eating dog food."

I cannot make this stuff up, people. I just report what happens.