The Layoff Chronicles: The End

Looking back on it, getting laid off was pretty great.

If I had had a couple kids and a spouse and a big mortgage, it would have sucked bigtime, but as a Bachelorette on a Budget, it wasn't as hard as I had thought it would be.

I cut way back on my expenses, hunkered down, and quite frankly enjoyed the heck out of not having to get up and go to work 8 (or 9 or 12) hours a day. I woke up late, took the dog on long walks and went to the morning class at the gym. The simple life suits me because, well, I am quite simple.

While I was off, I kept really busy. I worked my butt off doing freelance, started ghostwriting a book and spent more time shepherding my folks around to doctors and hair appointments.

But those days are about to be over. I HAVE A JOB!

More importantly, I have a job that I WANT. I had been rueful about the two jobs I got passed over for - especially the first one, because I spent about a month dangling, thinking I was about to be hired, before they cut me loose. But now I am thankful I didn't get one of those jobs, because I would have missed out on an opportunity that, so far, seems perfect for me.

I get to write more. I get to use my graphic design skills. I get to use the weird obscure technical knowledge that I gained from my last job. I get to work with some old friends. And I get paid over 10% more than at my last job.

Weird how it all worked out.

I start next week. I gotta start honing my getting-up-at-a-reasonable-hour skills again. I'm also going to have to work on my juggling skills, because I still have the ghostwriting to finish.

To celebrate getting hired, my BFF CC and I took off on a girly adventure. We packed up the Bluemobile and headed for Yosemite National Park. I had never been there before, and let me say this about that: those Ansel Adams photos? Don't even begin to touch the beauty of the place.

My eyes got filled up with the majesty. Sometimes I had to concentrate on the fat butts of my fellow tourists as they waddled up the trails, just to give myself a break.

Driving to the park on the first day, I kept going around corners and thinking "It can't get more beautiful than this." And then, going around another curve, it did. Everywhere you turn, there is something that takes your breath away.

If you look up while you are sitting on a bench outside the visitor's center, this is what you see:

That's Upper Yellowstone Falls. Right below that, there is also Lower Yellowstone Falls. Double falls! For the price of ONE falls.

You can go up to the top of the valley and see this:

350 pixels really doesn't do it justice. If you can stand up there and not get a little verklempt, your heart is made of stone.

And if your friend CC talks you into going on a trail ride, you might get to make a friend like Ringo:

Ringo was quite nice, except for trying to crowd the mule in front of him, a move that got him kicked in the chin a time or two. Good thing I am an excellent muleswoman. That's kind of a lie, but I managed not to fall off, at least.

CC's mule was a whiter shade of pale and is named Vegas:

What happened on Vegas will have to stay in Vegas.

But let me warn you - when you ride a mule, you sit on parts of your body that are not used to being sat upon. Yowch. My lady parts may regain feeling sometime before the end of the year, if I'm lucky.

Things You Can't Say in Public

My favorite grocery cashier is a bit of a sad sack. Mel is a big guy, very overweight, and he doesn't wear his weight lightly. Every ounce presses down on him, giving him the appearance of someone wearing a bulletproof vest made of cinder blocks.

I try to cheer him up, of course. I am genetically programmed to try and bring cheer to the cheerless. Just ask my sisters. They do it too.

We goof, we joke, we say things that make us chronically misunderstood by the humorless. It is our cross to bear.

Mel and I have developed a pretty good relationship, though, for people who only speak to each other about 45 seconds a week. One time he even told me that talking to me was the nicest thing that had happened to him all day.

(Insert "aw" here).

Tonight he was especially down. I thought that maybe we were high school classmates, so I asked him where he had grown up. Not here, it turned out, but he had lived here for over 15 years.

"But I don't know anybody," he said.

"You should get out more," I chirped.

"My dog doesn't let me," he answered.

So then we had to talk dog for a while. He agreed that Goldie is a great-looking dog (of course I have pictures of my dog in my wallet. Don't you?) He told me about his red pit bull, Allie.

He concluded with: "She's the only thing that keeps me going. The one thing."

I managed to refrain from giving Mel assvice, though. He was in no mood for it. It would have done more harm than good.

But I would have liked to have tell him this: What keeps you going is up to you. No one is going to do the work of finding the things that keep you going. I know that kind of sucks sometimes, but it's actually part of the fun of life. Everything is out there and you have the responsibility and the will to choose what it is going to be that you occupy yourself with.

You have one life. You have lots of choices. Some choices get made for you. How you see it all is all your choice. Enjoy the ride.

In other news, check out this amazing hillside that is covered in multicolored iceplant:

Lame

Sorry I haven't posted lately. I'm just crossing my fingers so hard that it has cut off the blood supply to my brain.

Lame

Sorry I haven't posted lately. I'm just crossing my fingers so hard that it has cut off the blood supply to my brain.

Modern Motherhood

Nancy at aqua aerobics was telling me how her daughter, who is 16, had come home late from a movie with her boyfriend.

Nancy was already in bed.

"I heard them come in and heard them talking, then it got quiet, but I didn't hear him leave. So I texted her and told her Aaron had to go home. She texted me back 'No cuddling?' and I texted her 'NO.'"

She texted her daughter so she didn't have to get up out of bed and face the boyfriend in her PJs.

Who says technology isn't making life better?