In which I goof off

You probably had to be there, but I'm going to tell you anyway.

I'm taking this class at church. It is kind of a Our Church 101: What You Must Believe So You Will Be Cool With God, Unlike Those Pagan Sinners.

Not really.

One of the exercises we did last night was to imagine people in our lives who really bug us and then see how what drives us crazy about them is also in us. Self-awareness, oh noes.

I got the point of the exercise right away and I wasn't feeling terribly motivated, so I could only think of 2 people who mildly bugged me. Weird, I know.

I finished early, while the rest of the class was writing. There were three spaces on the paper for people who bugged you, so I had an empty slot.

I decided to fill my slot - and my time - by scrawling harder and harder and faster and faster in the empty slot, so the quiet room of students gradually became aware, because of the sounds my pen was making, that someone was taking this exercise way too much to heart.

They started giggling, which just spurred me to continue scrawling harder. I was at the paper-tearing point when our pastor, laughing, reeled me back in.

I'm here to entertain. That's all I want, really.

Oh, how I love the World Cup. And the men who play World Cup.

The Brazilians are playing well. I'd like to take Kaka out to play, despite his poopy name.


I know what you're thinking. But I don't think so. I'm pretty sure he's not gay. He's just European.

And I think the Portuguese looked great kicking North Korea's butt 7-0 on Monday. Especially Cristiano. He always looks great, except for the massive amounts of hair product he wears. The rest of the team also seems to be made up of serial Product Abusers.

Attention, Portuguese team - I am available for hair improvement consultation. Call me.

What is this thing, here?

I just remembered I have a blog. Weird.

What's new?

The dog people paid. I cashed the check and went over to Canine Adoption & Rescue League and handed them $208.25 in cash. I decided the people were such psychos that I shouldn't send them the receipt. I have it if you want to see it, because I know how some of the internetz are. They never believe ANYTHING.

I just filled out the paperwork for the court that the judgment had been paid, sent it off, and mailed the Von Losers a copy with a note that said "For Your Records. Thanks." I figured that would make them scratch their heads but not further antagonize them.

The good news out of this whole thing is that I decided it is time to start volunteering with dogs again, so I'll be filling out the volunteer application this week and hopefully soon will be spending Saturdays sitting in a PetSmart near you with some cute doggies for someone to love.

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The 30 mile drive to work is irritating as hell. In the mornings it's not too bad, but some nights it takes me 90 minutes to get to my folks' house, which means I leave for work at 6:30 a.m. and get home past 7 p.m. I can hear my sister saying "Oh, cry me a river" right now, since she works in town and lives waaaaaaay out in the hills in a hidden compound.

The work is fun, though. I get to hang around smart people as they decide how to run a massive corporation. It is interesting to me in the way an ant farm is interesting. More like "Wow, watch those guys work!" rather than any impetus to create tunnels myself. I just carry the crumb of dirt that I am assigned to carry.

Among my perks is something I have never had before - my own big whiteboard. It has come in handy as I strategize. Not really. But I did make a work friend from down the aisle by posting elaborate World Cup match info, complete with graphics of country flags and frequent score updates. We now pass several pleasant minutes a day speculating on upcoming matches and wondering if Spain will ever rise to the occasion or if Brazil will steamroll everyone in their path and what about those infernal Germans.

In news very tangentially related to the World Cup, I want to be able to shake it like Shakira's backup dancers in the Official FIFA song video. Whoa:

The Dog Bite Saga: The End

I case you were wondering if the people whose dog bit Goldie are actually as much fun as I made them out to be (Background story Part One and Part Two), I have something to show you.

I got the settlement check for $208.25 today with this note:



Way to stay Klassy! I'm having the envelope checked for Anthrax spores right now.

PS Is there ever a troll in the history of the world who has known the difference between "your" and "you're"?

World Cup Fever!