The Dog Bite Saga: The End

I case you were wondering if the people whose dog bit Goldie are actually as much fun as I made them out to be (Background story Part One and Part Two), I have something to show you.

I got the settlement check for $208.25 today with this note:



Way to stay Klassy! I'm having the envelope checked for Anthrax spores right now.

PS Is there ever a troll in the history of the world who has known the difference between "your" and "you're"?

World Cup Fever!

Unbred

When people find out I don't have kids, sometimes they try to comfort me.

"Oh, that's ok," they will say.

OK? Dude, it's the reason I took birth control pills for 30 years. Of course it is okay.

Today I got the funniest comment ever, though.

"There's really no ROI on having kids," the man said to me.

And I Don't Mean Links to Herbal Viagra

Telling Dad made me laugh...and swear to comment more often

Gone Too Far

My brother-in-law Michael has some weird friends and wacky stories. Like the time he and a friend, probably Moon, were in a bar.

A man came in, went to the jukebox, and played Sam The Sham & The Pharoah's "Wooly Bully."



The song finished. The man played it again.

And again. And again.

Finally, Moon got up, went to the man, and punched him in the face.

"One Wooly Bully too many," Moon explained.

*********

A few years ago, some hippie/conspiracy types started talking about how the world was going to end on Dec. 21, 2012, because that is when the Aztec calendar abruptly ends.

Oh ho, ho, we said. Those silly hippies. Those silly Aztecs.

Oh ho, ho, though glaciers were melting.

Oh, ho, ho, though fisheries were collapsing.

Oh, ho, ho, as a fifth of the world's coral reefs died.

When everyone was busy raising crops on Farmville, real farmers were watching their pollinators, the bees, die off at an alarming rate.

Now as the Gulf Oil Disaster keeps going and going, as more affected states are added to the map each day, as birds flop to shore, exhausted and covered in crude, I wonder if the Aztecs might be right.

I wonder if this is just one Wooly Bully too many.