20 April 2006

A sudden loss of control

Sighthounds: Greyhounds can never be trusted off leash. A loose greyhound is a dead greyhound. A greyhound has no street smarts when it comes to cars. By nature of a sighthound, greyhounds can run at speeds of up to 45 mph and will chase fast-moving objects.

Goldie is a greyhound/lab mix. She is much like a greyhound in every aspect except her weight - for her size, she weighs much more than a greyhound.

She has 3 basic modes: sleep, eat, chase. She loves a walk more than anything, and I love to walk her and give her freedom to look around on a long retractable leash. That means I have had literally hundreds of instances of her chasing something at a high speed with me unable to stop her. There I am windmilling and flailing along behind her or giving up and dropping the leash.

But today was special. Today is a day that will live in dog walking infamy.

Question: What do you get when you mix a sighthound, a cat, a busy intersection and a dog owner with an overfull bladder?

Yes, that's right, dear readers, I have gotten to the point that every blogger gets to eventually: embarrassing bodily fluid loss.

She saw a big fluffy black cat right at the intersection of Main St. (literally) and La Avenida (even busier than Main Street) and took off RUNNING after it. I tried to hold her back, but the leash popped out of my hand. She briefly dashed out into traffic, in front of a cop car, then veered back over a wall into a grassy area, with me chasing her as fast as my fat short legs would carry me. The leash wrapped around a pole and she came to a halt, but by then it was all over.

My dog made me pee my pants. In public.

I don't know if it was seeing my dog dash in front of a police car, or me running with a full bladder, or fear, or what.

Some creatively messy tying of my jacket around my waist hid the evidence.

By then it was getting dark and it was a long, damp walk home. knew that, even though I hadn't been planning to, I was doing laundry tonight.


Anonymous said...

Oh,pee-otts. I can remember you as a baby thinking pee-otts was the funniest word you ever heard.
I just love dogs.

SUEB0B said...

I still think it is pretty funny! I am fascinated. Tell me more about pee-otts.

noncommon said...

just so you know, my boys are here and cracking up at the mental image of you walking home in wet pants. sorry. it's such a damn unfortuante event, but for what it's worth, they're going to school in a good mood. thanks

Chicky Chicky Baby said...

Okay, in my few years as a dog trainer that has to be the most memorable story of a dog getting loose that I have ever heard. I'm even ignoring the use of a retractable leash on a sighthound... La, la, la, la... :)

Just tell me that everyone is okay, and that your pants were not "dry clean only".

MrsFortune said...

Oh Sue, Sue. That's okay, I would have most definitely SHIT my pants, because that's how f'ing neurotic I am about my dog. So it COULD have been worse. :-)

J.R. Kinnard said...

You definitely win the "Brave Blogger of the Day Award" for sharing that story, Sue. If it's any consolation, I wet my pants while reading your story.

SUEB0B said...

Mrs. Chicky - I never heard that about sighthounds before but it makes perfect sense. I am just a bad bad dog mom. I am overindulgent - I like to let her explore. It makes for unpleasant walking for me. My shoulders now make crunchy noises and hurt a lot.

Cameo - glad to be of service.

MrsF - I will try pooping next time and see how that compares.

JR - do you want to throw your pants in my washer? I'm doing a load.

Bamboo Lemur Boys Are Mean To Their Girls said...

This is so hilarious to me. I can't imagine losing it until I think of my own dog streaking across a busy street. Yep I'd pee or shiti too.

spotted elephant said...

I couldn't comment when I first read this because I was laughing too hard. Thank you so much for sharing this.

And I say all of that with full empathy, because I could easily see something like that happening to me. Only I'd pee my pants in front of a roomful of students. ;)

Unknown said...

hahaha!! I am SO glad I am not alone. That whole post on peeing one's pants--it's brought many, many of us out of the woodwork. We need a support group-that involves beer drinking contests;-)

bladder control said...

It's funny but at least you have the jacket to hide it.


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