Suebob's Red Stapler: Do not be panic

06 October 2006

Do not be panic

My friend Marius read this on the side of a fireworks box: "Do not be panic."

Okay then. I am not panic.

Just a little tweaky.

The irony is not lost on me: it is Pink Ribbon Month and I had a mammomgram today. The radiology office was festooned in pink - pink pens, pink ribbon pins, pink ribbon magnets for your car - take them, they're free! You need them because you need to show cancer you aren't going to put up with it. And nothing frightens cancer like pink.

I had one mammo. And then another because the first one was suspicious. And then an ultrasound. On both boobs. Where they found weird shit both left and right.

Now a needle biopsy next week. On both boobs. Because of the weird shit.

It's ok. I come from a lumpy family. No worries. We don't have the gene. Nobody related to me has ever had the C disease in the boobs.

I am not panic. Ok, just a little. I am sure having needles shoved in my funbags will be a breeze. And I am trying not to think past that point, what if...how would I look with no hair? Don't even go there. My tits are NOT trying to kill me.

In other news, don't you think it is a little rude for the Radiology Diagnostic Center to have Halloween decorations shaped like coffins, saying "Rest in Peace" in the waiting room?

Check out Linkateria, too.

30 comments:

Anonymous said...: You are NOT panic. You are OK. You are fine. Better than ok and fine, actually. You are doing just great.

Tests, shmests.

Just post to let us know you are ok for sure so we have no worries on our end.

Your readership....; 11:15 PM
Anonymous said...: Good luck w/ your needle biopsy.I had one several years ago. Obviously, it was nothing. Hope yours is, too :)

Someone once sent Jay Leno these instructions for something and they were obviously translated from some other language because they read as follows:

Do not allow children to mucky muck, owing to small parts.

Mucky muck? WTH?

And coffins?

Again, WTH?; 11:16 PM
super des said...: Yeah... the coffins send the wrong signals. I give you permission to punch the person who sticks needles in your boobs, after the test results come back and it turns out that they did that for no reason.; 6:47 AM
Anonymous said...: They just want to SEE them, Buttercup. [The perfectly bulbous mounds of joy, and more.] They should try buying dinner like everyone else.; 8:59 AM
Anonymous said...: I'll be thinking good things for you. You can logic your way all the way through the waiting, but it's still one of the biggest bad scaries. So, I will be not panic with you.

I don't know if it's rude, but it makes me cringe/laugh nervously at the same time.; 10:30 AM
Anonymous said...: "...makes me cring/laugh..."

Yeah - that was in reference to the coffins, not you!; 10:31 AM
thailandchani said...: Coffins?

ROTFL!

Thailand Gal
~*~*~*~; 10:45 AM
Anonymous said...: Thinkin' about you, lady. Since your family is all lumpy-like, I'm sure you will be too.

Heh. Lumpy.

And the coffin thing? I'd have said something! LOL! Not right at all!; 10:58 AM
Anonymous said...: I won't be panic either.

You should call and complain about the coffins. It's just in poor taste.; 11:15 AM
Anonymous said...: I won't be panic either.

You should call and complain about the coffins. It's just in poor taste.; 11:16 AM
crazymumma said...: I am glad you had a mammogram. It must be your first. Two years ago, the same thing happened to me. Went in, mamogram, in the same session they called me in for more shots (with those metal stickers, did you have those?).

Then a month later a really wierd biopsy, not the needle kind, alittle more intense.

I come from a family with a big family history of the big C. So I was pretty scared.

I was fine. And you will be as well. Thinking of you.

Oh, and ya, coffins are a little wierd in a waiting room for mammograms.....strange.; 1:37 PM
meno said...: Geez, i am so sorry, what a drag. This happens to me every year. (I have the family history and lumpy boobs.) They do a mammogram, drag me in for an ultra-sound (covering my boobs with KY, wheeee)after they see whatever on the mammogram, and then it's nothing.
So far i haven't had to do the biopsy thing, sounds unpleasant.; 2:09 PM
Stephanie said...: Yeah there are a lot of other Halloween decor options that might be more sensitive to people coming in for life-or-death testing. But at least they're not handing out brochures about the evil of Halloween ;); 2:10 PM
Chicky Chicky Baby said...: Good luck with the needles! I hope you're just lumpy. But in a good way. :)

I'm sure it never occured to them that the coffins or tombstones would be in bad taste. It is, in bad taste that is, but given the job they do I'd have to cut them some slack for trying to be festive.; 3:38 PM
Christina said...: Yeah, coffins might not be the best decorations for a place like that. Maybe cute children dressed as witches with black cats instead?

Things will be OK. I know it.; 5:51 PM
Anonymous said...: Aren't humans strange? I read this, eyes wide, and all I did was burst out laughing at the absurdity of the ending. Not laughing at you, laughing with you. Pink and laughter, C has no chance. (((HUGS))); 6:06 PM
Anonymous said...: I am sending lots of good thoughts for your needle day. Maybe pack the old red stapler for good luck?

As for the coffin.. I agree with Sarah... I would call and talk mention the irony and tackiness. I am sure that they are so detached with what they do... that it really didn't occur to them.; 6:39 PM
Anonymous said...: Enjoy Happy Chinese Food. (from a chopsticks wrapper)

And also keep on with the do-not-be-panic. You'll be fine. No prob, (Sue)bob.

And is it wrong that I laughed at your mention of "funbags?"; 7:02 PM
SUEB0B said...: Thanks everyone.

Karl, I would expect nothing less from you. If I can't make people laugh every once in a while, what is the point of blogging?; 7:12 PM
Anonymous said...: There be no panic in Florida on your behalf. There be lots of good thoughts though, because biopsies suck ass bigtime (as in, uh, they hurt. You know?); 7:30 PM
SUEB0B said...: Jonniker - thanks for reminding me. Hurt as in hurt, hurt?; 7:57 PM
Anonymous said...: Keeping my fingers crossed for normal, lumpy funbags, okay?

And yes, the coffins are bad taste. I would probably also say something.; 9:15 PM
Toastedsuzy said...: I will be thinking of your boobs often over the next couple of weeks.

(I mean, more than usual.)

I'm sure you'll be fine, for you are kick ass, as my son would say.

And I think that the coffins and RIP tombstones are only appropriate if they are pink tombstones and coffins. Perhaps if you plaster those pink magnet ribbons all over them the Halloween happy orderlies (or whoever the decorators are) will get the idea.

Or else come to your biopsy dressed as a malpractice lawyer; see if they think that's in good taste.

Love,
TS; 9:38 PM
Anonymous said...: I've been there with the second mammogram and ultrasound and surgical biopsy. I know exactly what you're going through and I know that it's nearly impossible NOT to think about it, not to worry about it.
But it really is the best thing you can do for yourself.
I believe strongly in the mind-body connection so just keep telling yourself everything is okay.
It will be, even though the biopsy is not fun and you'll probably be pretty emotional.
I'll be thinking about you and if you need anything or have any questions, I'm here.; 6:46 AM
Bamboo Lemur Boys Are Mean To Their Girls said...: I hate that your tits are lumpy. You had something similiar a couple years ago no?

Your boobs better not be trying to kill you or they are in so much trouble with me..

I'm thinking of you. I love you my sister.; 7:03 AM
Anonymous said...: rest in peace in the waiting room??
very, very low class.
here's to your boobs.
xo; 6:07 PM
Anonymous said...: I'm not sure I've met a Halloween decoration I liked.

Here's to no further need to not be panic. Amen.; 7:12 AM
Anonymous said...: I would expect it is all fine and not be panic. Sending good thoughts your way.
I also have a fine set of lumpy funbags and so far so good.; 7:36 AM
Suzanne said...: Wow, the decorations are funny, but in a very wrong way. That really is awful.

Much luck with your biopsy. I hope all will be well. We need you here, and I refuse to let your titties kill you.; 4:04 PM
Anonymous said...: Not panic. Not panic until doctor says reason to panic.

Thinking of you nonetheless.; 5:29 PM