Abrupt change of subject.
Caution: pontificating ahead
Tracey over at Sweetney is asking some Big Questions about how to deal in this messed-up world:
And though I'm not quite cuckoo enough (yet) to believe I can change the world, I think I need to do something, however small, to stop feeling like a rudderless boat adrift on the violent seas of apparent global insanity. And I know there are many people out there who feel just as I do. People who, like me, read the paper or flick on the TV or turn on NPR and feel wash over them an almost incapacitating mixture of anger and sadness and outrage and disbelief that even Katie Couric's perkiness and obligatory feel-good-story-of-the-day wrap-ups can't quell. Maybe you feel this way, too.Yes, of course I feel this way, too. I think everyone does, though some are better at denying it.
I have been thinking that one of the wisest things ever written is the Serenity Prayer so popular in 12-Step Groups:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things
I cannot change,
the courage to change the things
I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.
That simple, seemingly cliche prayer, contains the way out of this mess. After much soul-searching, I believe that the path out of the darkness is through forgiveness. Not just forgiveness of other people and forgiveness of ourselves. Forgiveness of everything. We have to stop being mad at everything for being so screwed up.
Because practically speaking, where is our mad getting us? Where is our sad getting us? Unless our feelings motivate us to act, they don't DO anything for us. It sure feels important to burst into tears at the injustice and the horror and the pain, but once the tears are gone, has anything in the world changed?
Should we stop having feelings? No - impossible. Have feelings, feel them completely, and let them pass by like the weather passes by. And then if we have the courage and the wisdom and the energy, we should act to make things better.
And if we don't? Forgive the badness. Forgive ourselves for not being able to act right now. Forgive the darkness. Let it go for now. Breathe and trust that when the time is right, we will act as positively and as well as we know how.
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15 comments:
This post is yet another reason to adore you.
sounds good to me
Okay, first of all, if you ever see the word poo in a post, I give you license to stop reading right there. There's a reason "Mommy's writing about their kids' crap" is cliche. Because NO. And also write all you want about your boobies. I don't consider it slogging to read about them.
Second, I appreciate the sentiment, but it's not necessarily giving me solace right now. There's been a spate of horrific news lately, school shootings, abuse, bad stuff up in here. I don't want to feel serene about not being able to do anything. I want the inspiration and gumption to do something. Is there a 12-step prayer for that? Would that be the abbreviated 3-step program prayer?
Mignon - the inspiration has to come from you, unfortunately. I guess that is the bad part about being a big grown up person.
The reason I choose to forgive all the badness is because IT IS THE WAY IT IS. There is nothing that feeling bad about it does to change that. I think I'm just being practical.
Sue, I was going to send you an e-mail but for the life of me I can't find your e-mail address either here or on Blogher. Sorry if I am just tech-challenged. Just wanted to thank you for the cilantro soup recipe. I posted my version today. (I had to add some chopped cilantro to the finished soup, just because I'm a cilantro freak.) It turned out great! Have you abandoned the food blog? I do understand, most people have no idea how hard it is to blog consistently about food, but too bad.
nicely said, suebob.
Great post. I have never thought about forgiveness for the bad things I can't change but it does make sense..
BTW, would it be possible for you to activate the RSS feed for this blog..
I almost never write about the contents of diapers. I mean, EW.
The world has always been a cruel, unfair place. I feel powerless just thinking about the tragedies here at home, let alone in third world dictatorships.
We can teach our children well, and we can volunteer our time. What's that saying - "Think globally, act locally"?
No poopy diaper posts on my blog from now on...The Girl has graduated to undies finally. Of course I am scheduled for a colonoscopy in a couple weeks so I can't promise there will be a complete poo moratorium.
Thanks for putting into words what I have been advocating for a long time. Grieve over our loss of innocence and because of the badness, but move on because there is so much more life out there to live & love. The act of moving on can be life-changing!
PS - Positive vibes are being beamed into your boobies from the blogosphere and from across town.
This is such sound advice. Thank you so much. Love you.
Suebob, you should write anything you want and not apologize for it. After all, it is your blog. (I remind myself of this constantly.) Quite frankly, no matter what you write, I'll be reading it because it will be done so well.
Wonderful post.
Forgiveness comes easy for me. Letting go is whole other issue.
I read a great article yesterday, so when I read yours today, it reminded me of it.
It's about exactly this...forgiveness in wake the Amish school shootings (what Tracey was referring to).
Here ya go:
http://www.beliefnet.com/blogs/godspolitics/2006/10/diana-butler-bass-what-if-amish-were.html
Forgiveness is a key. You said it very well.
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