Happy New Year

I looked back in my blog archive to see what foolish resolutions I had made and broken last year at this time. There is nothing. Great - no evidence to haunt me.

It is 8:30 pm and I sit here alone, thanks to a confluence of unforeseen events. My friends and I were supposed to meet up at a restaurant and Mr Stapler was going to meet us too. I went there - it was closed with a note on the door to meet at a different restaurant. I went there and told Mr Stapler to go there, too.

It was also closed. No note, no friends. So the Man and I went to a place where the food sucked and we both felt tragically done in by the high-fat, high-carb, high-garlic offering...we took a walk and he departed.

I am left sitting here listening to what is going on outside, which just reminds me how much more fun Latinos have than white people. Okay, call me racist, but I can hear the gritos and music and firecrackers and it is still 3 1/2 hours til the New Year. More fun, really. Sorry, gabachos.

Resolutions? Oh crimeny, why not, I have time.

1. Stop swearing. I have been saying this every year for 10 years now. My only reason for this is that I fear I will be a little old lady in a nursing home yelling "Stupid bastard asshole fuckwads!" It is just so unattractive. But on the other hand, who am I fooling? I will never be able to afford a nursing home.

2. Lose weight, get in shape, yadayada. I mean it. This sitting on my ass (oh there I go again) in front of a computer 8 hours a day plus the 90 minutes in the car on the way is just leading to waaaay too much lumpishness. Must be more active. Hopefully have fun doing it.

3. Visit 2 Channel Islands. I have only been to one and I want to visit all of them. I think there are 6 - Catalina, Santa Rosa, Anacapa, San Nicholas, Santa Cruz, Santa Barbara...One is a military installation, but I have an in. I just have to marry this and he can get me a visitor's pass.

4. Go to BlogHer

5. Go to Mexico again. I want to go to Veracruz this time.

6. Decide what to do about THAT PROBLEM. It's a secret but someone who reads the blog knows what I am talking about.

7. Deal with my wardrobe issues. Honestly. Would it kill me to not dress like a lunatic?

8. Start taking my calcium and pectin and drink more water.

Eight is enough. Now I have something to look back on next year.

Hope you are safe and well.

Watch the Rose Parade tomorrow! Billions of braincells were sacrificed by the float decorators, who work with some really crazy get-you-high glues, for your entertainment. I know. I remember balancing on a scaffolding with my head spinning and my hands covered in yellow chrysanthemum petals. The least pleasant and quite possibly most dangerous high of my life...but on parade day, all is forgotten and everything is beautiful. Long live the Tournament of Roses.