Suebob's Red Stapler: Time for a Game

04 December 2006

Time for a Game

Yes, everybody, it's time for America's favorite game show, "WTF is up with that?"

Leave your entry in the comments section and I will decide, in a scientific process, who deserves a Somewhat Valuable Prize. It will probably be a book but you never know.

As your hostess, I will start:

Women who, when they laugh, put their hand up about 3 inches in front of their face. My favorite example of this is Dr. Phil's wife, whatshername.

WTF is up with that?

Ok, your turn. What do YOU want to know WTF is up with?

*****

And while we are having a random post, here are my nominees for Web Weird Word usage, collected from around the blogosphere. If you spot one of your own, let me know and you, too, may win a Somewhat Valuable Prize.

This is not to make fun of the writers. English is such a wacky, wonderful language that it could happen to anyone.

"With one felled swoop, it went flying into the air."

"Be a big boy. as in, have some initiative, drive, onus and purpose in your life!!"

"Mixed with yoghurt or thickened cream it makes an instant chocolate moose that is hard to resist."
Personally I prefer the instant elk.

"I get a pit in my stomach just thinking about it."

"They strike a cord with me so much"

"...after having 11 viles of blood forcibly removed from your body..."

28 comments:

Suzanne said...: I believe the hand-in-front-of-the-face thing is a modern version of hiding behind a fan and tittering. You would not want to offend the people by showing them that your mouth opens and you have teeth. That is not ladylike.

I have way too many WTFs, so of course, I can't think of a single one.; 9:49 PM
Suzanne said...: Here's one - WTF am I doing up at 12:50 am when I am exhausted?; 9:49 PM
Anonymous said...: WTF is up with people who refuse to say the obvious:

"I'm really not angry," a subdued Nicole Paultre told CNN interviewer Larry King in her first extensive comments since fiance Sean Bell's killing Nov. 25. "I'm more just trying to be strong. We just want justice.... That's it, and that's what we're praying for and hoping for."

Her fiance is shot dead the night before the wedding, and she is not angry. Right. Michael Richards is not a racist. Mel Gibson is not an anti-semitic drunk. I'm not losing my hair. Admit that which is obvious and be free.

I am not eligible to win, as I am Mr Stapler.; 1:14 AM
Carolie said...: The hand in front of a laugh or smile is definitely the custom here in Japan...both to hide poor dental work and to avoid being unladylike by actually revealing that one has teeth. The older Japanese women almost never show their teeth!

WTF is up with women who are too fastidious to park their behinds on a toilet seat--so instead they hover like a UFO and sprinkle the seat, then leave the stall without flushing?!? It's too gross for you to sit on the seat or touch the flushing mechanism, but it's perfectly fine for the rest of us to have to flush for you, or to sit in or clean up your urine??

Weird Word Usage--my friend wrote in an e-mail "and I just can't phantom why he did that!"; 3:04 AM
jess said...: WTF is up with people who COME AROUND BEHIND MY DESK (at the library) so that they can HOVER over my shoulder and watch me resarch the answer to their question? I mean, would you do this at oh, I don't know, the BANK?

Want to see what I am doing? Just ask and I'll be happy to turn my monitor for you. Thanks bunches.; 6:20 AM
jess said...: Oh look - you got a two-fer! Um, that'sd be research, not resarch...; 6:21 AM
jess said...: OK, something is wrong with me this morning.; 6:22 AM
Karen said...: Ooh, ooh, I'll play!

How about the people who cannot seem to look you in the eye, and when speaking to you CLOSE their eyes, eyelids fluttering madly as if warding off some evil you are inadvertantly spewing forth? WTF??; 7:15 AM
Lynnea said...: Here's one of my favorites: WTF is up with people who ask you for an opinion or advice like: do you think I should go with this option? And then when you give them an answer, they proceed to tell you why you're wrong. No that option won't work because, so this option here was my choice. Why did you even ask me? Were you setting me up for failure?; 7:22 AM
Mignon said...: WTF? Just no.

And Karen, I HATE that. I can't concentrate, wondering if they're about to pass out, or what.; 8:05 AM
Anonymous said...: WTF is up with auto flush toilets, man!!???

They flush randomly when you're ON the pot, they WONT flush when you get off (or worse, when someone else gets off and leaves a gross toilet-stew), and they flush randomly when they are all alone.

I mean, dude, they even have BUTTONS now on toilets.........are we so lazy we can't PRESS A BUTTON TO FLUSH THE TOILET? Cause these things sure as heck aren't saving any water or promoting better sanitation, that's for darned sure.; 8:43 AM
Anonymous said...: p.s.
I do that hand in front of the mouth thing, but it's beacuse I used to have REALLY bad teeth and so it embarassed me.I've gotten most of my teeth all fixed up, but now my mouth is full of gaps and silver, so it's till slightly embarassing.; 8:44 AM
super des said...: WTF is up with people stucj in traffic jams beeping their horns? It doesn't help anything except to make people angrier.; 8:45 AM
super des said...: Oh, I have another one.
WTF is up with banks charging you a fee for insufficient funds? Clearly you have no money ot pay the fee if your checks are bouncing.; 8:46 AM
stinkypaw said...: WTF is up with people who have no respect whatsoever for others? Is it too much to ask from people to respect their commitment and do what they said they would?; 9:14 AM
Anonymous said...: Why is it not okay to have sour milk in your fridge, but it’s totally okay to have sour cream or cottage cheese. Isn’t cottage cheese just curdled milk? Sorry if you like cottage cheese. I do too, occasionally. But I have to consciously not think about the fact that I’m eating. curdled. milk.

And I'm with One Smarmy Mama on the flush toilets. But what's up with the automatic water faucet? Most of the time the water's way too cold and I'd be better off just using antibacterial hand sanitizer (the kind you don't have to rinse) because the cold water isn't going to help get those germs off that I've gotten from having to push the button on the flush toilet on someone else's unflushed mess.

WTF?

I recognize the "viles of blood" one. That's Fidget from Finding Yourself Despite Yourself. But I'm not her, so I guess getting that one doesn't qualify me for a Somewhat Valuable Prize.; 9:49 AM
meno said...: Waitron: "So, how are we today?"

me: "We are fine. How are we?"

Pronoun abuse.; 10:12 AM
Anonymous said...: I vote for Meno's and Carolie's examples.

This one isn't clever, but it's horribly true:

WTF is up with people who fret about mad cow disease and bird flu virus and and other statistical unlikelihoods and then drive while chatting on their cell phones, which immediately gives them the reaction time of a 75-year old and makes them 4-5 times more likely to crash. Now, I can understand a death wish. B. Franklin said that 4 of 5 men are slow suicides, but if you're ready to die (and possibly kill your kids and someone's grammy), don't waste fretting on bird flu or mad cow disease while you drive distracted.; 10:44 AM
Kate said...: WTF is up with people who have wimpy sneezes. Like a tiny little "choo", so dainty and restrained like they are trying to act like a princess with a stick up her butt. Let it out for pete's sake!; 10:54 AM
Anonymous said...: I hold my hand up when I laugh. I'm paranoid that I have bad breath. And if you tell me that I do, I will lie down and die right in front of you. Seriously - that is by far the greatest way to take me down a peg.

I can't come up with a WTF. I'm too busy shuddering thanks to all the examples of misused/mis-spelled words.; 11:34 AM
Anonymous said...: People that have snakes as pets.

WTF is up with that?; 12:56 PM
Carolie said...: oooo...I have another one! WTF is up with people who get all sanctimonious and upset about those who hunt for food ("but it's so CUUUUTE!" or "I could never eat BAMBI!"), and/or the various meats of other cultures that don't happen to be cows, pigs or chickens...then they scarf down unidentifiable slabs of fast food meat? What, they think McBurgers grow on trees? The yellow-wrapped packages of chicken parts are created out of sawdust and magic by the Freezer Fairy? Those cute Manolo Blaniks are made of tree bark?; 2:37 PM
Anonymous said...: I'm in. SERIOUSLY!!

WTF is up with people jam or break the copier at work... and then slink away into the darkness without so much as leaving a note!!!

Whew... I feel better. thanks Suebob. I needed that.; 5:30 PM
Anonymous said...: WTF is up with people wearing pantyhose with open-toed shoes?

Also, WTF is up with people who chew ice during business meetings? Do they really think we would rather listen to their chewing mouth sounds during a meeting, no matter how boring the meeting is?; 7:25 PM
QT said...: Love this and I have to second carolie. Also, cottage cheese is not curdled milk - it is actually very fresh cheese, no aging or curdling agents.

WTF is up with people who take your food at work when it is clearly labeled with your name??; 1:20 PM
Mignon said...: I just got my haircut and the woman was telling me she had to take advantage of her employers overbooking her during the holidays, "You know, I gotta make hay when the rain is shining." Uh, what?; 5:13 PM
EmilyJane said...: This is a little late, but I can't help but ask WTF is up with food companies who misrepresent their products with a better-than-life packaging photo?

I know, "capitalism" and all that, but after discovering the ruse of one brand, do they actually think I'd willingly shell out hard-earned cash for their crap again? Uh, no.

Case in point.; 2:52 PM
Sara said...: I am new to this blog but I have two that happened to me already today:

WTF is up with superiors at working asking you do do a project an dthen calling every five minutes to check on your progress??? It would be done if you just left me alone!

Also, WTF is up with telemarketers who call you at home and then place you on hold???? I wish death upon those people.; 12:07 PM