25 December 2006

Traditional Christmas

Mr Stapler and I went to the Jewish deli for lunch because 1) we love deli food and 2) it had the all-important qualification of being open on Christmas.

He dined on traditional Jewish huevos rancheros (must be Sephardic, not Ashkenazi and I settled on a falafel salad. Yum. I am a big fan of the garbanzo bean.

Our next stop was to get the traditional post-deli Christmas latte. There were three workers in the coffee place and no other customers. They were about half an hour from closing for the day and the two younger girls working there, who looked to be about 18, had spun themselves into a giddy pre-closing frenzy.

One was wearing reindeer horns and they were both talking and laughing really, really loud. We ordered our drinks (iced for me - it was about 80 degrees outside) and as we were waiting, Reindeer Girl began telling Short Girl how some guy was bugging her, and how she would deal with him next time.

She had a big latte foam spoon in her hand and said, "If he ever comes near me, I will..." and she swung the spoon around as hard as she could, to demonstrate.

Too bad she didn't notice Short Girl standing right behind her. The result of this was that she clocked Short Girl HARD right above the eye. Luckily it was with the bowl of the spoon and not an edge, which would have split Short Girl's noggin open.

Still, it must have hurt like hell. Short Girl fell to her knees, clutching her head. Mr Stapler and I watched helplessly as the other worker ran over and said "Oh my God, are you ok?"

"It was an ACCIDENT!!" yelled Reindeer Girl over and over.

"You HIT me!" said Short Girl, who ran in the back to ice her head. "Oh my God I think I'm bleeding."

"Good God, let's leave before there is more violence," said Mr Stapler. He and I gazed glumly at the counter where our completed order should have been appearing, had Reindeer Girl not struck.

"And then there was an embarrassed silence as she finished the drinks," said Reindeer Girl, looking at us.

"Indeed," said Mr Stapler.

The good news is that the drinks were actually pretty good.

I hope you all had pain-free Christmas.


Mocha said...

Will I go to hell for laughing at this story? Will I? Because I would love to see this scene.

Just...you know... not with any angry people coming at me with spoons or anything.

Unknown said...

Good times. Goooood times.

claire said...

at least she was smart enough to understand the 'uncomfortable silence'.

too, too funny.

Anonymous said...

What's Christmas without a trip to the emergency room? Very funny. Also, the two baristas were really spazzing out when we first got there, like they had been huffing all morning. It was pretty out of control.

Anonymous said...

Funny story, and even funnier that Mr. Stapler mentioned huffing, which was the subject of a long Christmas Eve debate over at my parents' house. (My dad insisted it was called "sniffing" and that he knew a guy who died doing it.) Glad you had a nice lunch, though.

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