21 April 2008

A shoutout for childless women

The BlogHer 08 schedule has been released and I am so happy to see a panel discussion on Being Childless in the Blogosphere."

Edited to add: AND I'M GOING TO BE ON IT!! My head is spinning with happiness.

It's about time. I mean, if Mommyblogging is a radical act, what does that say about being a not-mommyblogger? An un-mommyblogger? Are we excluded from being radicals? Or are we all fooling ourselves by thinking that sitting behind a keyboard and spooling out our thoughts is a radical act at all?

Maybe not radical, but powerful. I have seen so many women bond over blogging, start businesses together, become BFFs, travel to meet each other, break their boundaries, stand up, speak out, become more of what they are meant to be. In that way, blogging is beautiful.

Ok, ok, I got off track. Back to the childless thing. What are the words for being without a child? Is there even a way to say it without referring to children? Barren? That doesn't sound quite right, and still points to the idea that women are expected to bear children.

I need a word for what I am that doesn't include children or the idea of children in it, because, really, I am where I am because I haven't really thought about children that much. They are just not in my consciousness. I was going to say "not that important to me" but then I envisioned scrolling down through a yard of "preshus childrun" trollmail...

Children are just not what I am about. I made up my mind a long time ago that I wasn't here to breed and I never wavered. Ok, maybe for about 5 minutes when I met Mr. Mojo, but that was just because I had never dated anyone as cute or as blonde before.

So spinster, barren, childless, whatevs. But I am certainly not "chi1dfree" because OMG those ppl NUTS! (I was going to link but I fear. If you doubt, just google "chi1dfree" and you'll see what I mean).

Check out some of the charming terms they use:
Breedermobile -- Any vehicle that transports children around. Usually refers to a mini van or a monstrous SUV.

Breederville -- Any city, town or subdivision that is predominantly full of people with kids. Places we would rather not live!

Entitlemoo -- Entitlement-minded mother who thinks everyone should worship the ground she walks on and give her everything she wants and make her life as easy as possible because she's convinced that giving birth earns her the right to be treated like a queen.

Holy cats. I would rather be trapped on an airplane in coach for 6 hours with Sarah AND the Goon Squad than to ever hear one adult call another "entitlemoo." Gag me with a wad of self-righteous dipshittery, why don't you?

All this rambling is to just say - hey, yay, I'm excited to have a panel at BlogHer that relates to my life and doesn't involve Kegels. Should be fun.


Debbie said...

wait. are you saying that kegeling is only for the child-bearing?

because Suebob, I want to be the first to welcome you to a kegel-friendly world, w/child or sans.

also, it's kegelrific! that you are participating on that particular panel, and I'm glad it exists. those of us in the entitlemoo sector shouldn't always be stealing the spotlight.

Bri said...

I didn't realize the schedule was up, yay! I'll in that panel, too. Non-mommybloggers unite! lol

Amy Urquhart said...

Yes! Totally excited about this panel, which you should totally BE ON (and I said so on my site, too). Those child-free people can be pretty extreme, good call on the not linking. At times they're downright offensive.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

You are only saying that because you haven't flown with us before.

Actually, The Goon Squad is pretty good on planes, it is the security line that can be a problem.

Yay for the childless! It makes me feel less guilty about over populating the world.

(and they are right, you really should be on the panel)

PunditMom said...

Yes, a shoutout for childless women! Yes, I have PunditGirl, but really thought for many years I would not want to be a mother.

It should be a great panel.

Glennis said...

Good post. I just like it that you say "Holy cats!"

Anonymous said...

I was happy to see that, too! People still ask me if my husband and I might have kids someday. At this age? Hell, no! I guess I do make things worse by answering, "No, we have cats," when someone asks whether we have kids.

Anonymous said...

I'll be happily childless unless - God forbid - someone(s) dies and I become their kids' guardian, which is a different situation. After I turned about 10 years old and realized that I didn't actually want to do everything my mom had done (teacher, mom, cashier, bank teller), I also realized that I was not so into having kids. Babysitting was pure torture. I stopped as soon as I was old enough to get employment in an office. Anyway, I'm also glad to see that BlogHer is having a panel just for little ol' us.

And does this mean that you are coming to BlogHer afterall?

SUEB0B said...

@Suzanne - Did I claim I was going to Mexico to drink margaritas in the sun instead? I think I did. But no, I will be there. I have to, now that I am signed up for Queen of Spain's French Laundry extravaganza.

Miss Britt said...

What else to call you?

Uh... woman? Writer? Blogger? Democrat? Republican? Person who sleeps in? Daughter? Friend? Person who likes French Laundry?

Dude. Seriously. The list goes on and on and on. And has nothing to do with what you "don't" or "aren't".

Parent is just ONE of the things people call me.

SUEB0B said...

@lildb - No, I am saying that kegeling should probably be highest on my agenda right now LOL

Unknown said...

Why not use the term "Kidfree" to describe yourself? That's the one I use, and I'm not a child-hater who uses nasty terms to describe parents (although I do have a list of childfree terms on my website.)

"Childless" infers you don't have children, but want them. My definition for "Kidfree" is a person who does not have children - whether by choice or by circumstance- and is happy with that fact. According to my childfree survey, most of us don't HATE kids, we just don't want our own.

I'd like to invite you and your "Kidfree" friends to take my Kidfree Survey, which over 1,700 childless people around the world have taken. Here is the link, and you can remain anonymous if you like:


Thanks, and congratulations on your new blog!

Kidfree Kaye

SUEB0B said...

Hm. Is my blog still "new" if I have been writing it for over 2 years?

Anonymous said...

I call myself "hassle free" but that's probably not the best description ;). It works with my friends because they know it's tongue-in-cheek. I like "kidfree" though.

I am really happy to see that panel too...wooty woot!

Mignon said...

I was just saying to my friend how annoying people can be about their animals, and we realized simultaneously that we get equally irritated by how annoying people can be about their kids.

I bet those chi1d women are annoying about their pets.

I hate kegels. They make me feel like I'm flexing a set of muscles on a disembodied body part. Like if my leg got cut off at a field trip to a saw mill and a saw mill worker was holding my leg and I was trying to flex my cut-off quad muscles. That's what kegels are like. To me.

Day Dreamer said...

Kegels are our friend! LMAO!

I'm glad they are having that panel, and that you're on it! Tells me that BlogHer is about diversity and it's been set up by gals with full skulls!

If I'm a mommy and I blog, does that make me a mommy blogger? I just never considered myself one. Funny.

QT said...

Dude, a topic dear to my heart.

I can only assume it will be standing room only with TONS of advertisers trying to figure out how to get to our "demographic" - I mean, don't we have more disposable income without having to buy all that kiddie accoutrement?

Laura-Marie said...

Yay kidlessness!

Count Mockula said...

I'm Kegeling right now!

Just because I always wanted kids (and now have one) has never meant I thought other people should any more than my wanting excessively dark chocolate means I think others should have some. I respect your right to know your own mind on this.

And I'dlove to see the marketing, too! What'll the swag be? Can't beat those "I heart Giblets" pins...

debangel said...

You go, SueBob! I am a "Breeder" with a very cute rugrat, but I definitely don't think the mommy- or daddy- route is for everybody.

However, two things *are*...Kegels, and dark chocolate! (Sorry, Count Mockula!) I think with plenty of each the world would be a happier place ;P

Heather B. said...

I think tha Kris (Mamalikey) said this but it's more of a radical act to be sans child in the blogosphere than to be a mommyblogger.

Contrary to popular belief I only want to be a mommyblogger when there's free stuff involved. After that I will give up my child to the first person with open arms.

I'm really looking forward to this panel. It should be a good one.

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Thanks for your hugs, suebob!
I wish more women like you had kids. I see so many who don't know how to raise descent humans. You have a really good head on your shoulders and you'd raise some really great people! I'm thankful for you and your blog! You were one of my first favorites! I'm honored to have had you stop buy! Thanks for your kinds words! Hugs back

Suzanne said...

Rock on! Not only am I excited to see you at the conference, but I am also practically wetting myself in anticipation of hearing you speak on the panel! (Maybe that is as much a sign that I should start with Kegels as anything else, though.)

Anonymous said...

Suebob - jazzed to be on the panel with you...I'm more of an "oh dear, I don't have kids, what am I going to do about it?" kind of person, so it sounds like we'll be an interesting mix of people.

I still can't believe I'm going to be up there speaking when it's a little too early in the day for wine. ;)

Also, I'm with Heather B. on the FREE STUFF. Where are my free cameras so I can document my gadabout, freewheeling lifestyle? Hmm???? ;)

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the panel. Funny how all the tags for us women-of-infinite-choices imply a lack. I find it best to remain un-named. Never wanted kids. Love to answer the "Do you have kids?' question with a horrified look and, "Heavens, no!" Another good response is to smile serenely and demurely offer, "I'd eat my young."

Jhianna said...

"Those of us in the entitlemoo sector ..." LOL

When you figure out a good term for it, Sueb0b, lemme know. Pro-somebody else's-children? (way too long) Aunt for life? Hmm... Kidfree isn't bad.

I tried answering the kid question with "I have a dog" but it comes across a little too weird for me. "I have a motorcycle is a tad bit better." :P

SUEB0B said...

I usually say brightly "No, but I have eight nieces and nephews and, oh, let's see...going on 15(?) I think great nieces and nephews." That usually distracts them a bit.

Anonymous said...

I may be a mommyblogger with (gulp) three children, but I definitely want to attend that session. Especially since you're on the panel.

Anonymous said...

I'm 33, no children, and totally happy. The thought of changing a diaper nauseates me. And frankly I love sleeping in on Saturdays and spending my discretionary income on hot shoes.Too many people have kids because they think they should or htey feel family pressure, or worse - want to continue the family line. Is it really going to be so horrible if your particular line of Smiths des out? Will the world go into mourning?

Anonymous said...

My answer to "Do you have kids" is "Yes, four. They have fur."

Kizz said...

SueBob, I'm extremely bummed that I won't be making it to Blogher for this panel alone. Do you know if there will be a podcast available after the fact? If there are no plans for that yet can I raise my hand to vote yes for adding plans for podcasting it, please?

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