12 May 2008

Growing up or not

When we were in our late 20's my friend Mike said "My ex-girlfriend wants to be friends."

I asked "What are you going to do?"

He said solemnly, "Oh, no, I can't. I'm not emotionally mature enough for that."

That made me laugh but I think of it often and use it occasionally. There are some things that it takes a long, long time to become grown up enough to do.


Piece of Work said...

I'm still not friends with any of my exes, and in fact, of the 3 major relationships in my life before I got married, there is only one that I have any interest in ever seeing again. Sadly, I have this feeling that he's just fine without me anywhere in his life. Guys that I dated more casually, those guys are easy to be friends with. But the ones that broke my heart? Not so much. Fortunately for me I live hundreds or thousands of miles away from them, so there's no chance of running into them.

Googling Goddess said...

It was actually very mature of him to realize that he wasn't mature enough to be a friend!

Yes, just because we are the age of a grown up doesn't mean we area always able to act like a grown up. I think being aware of that is the healthiest thing we can do though.

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

I wonder if I will ever be emotionally mature enough for something like that?

super des said...

At least he admitted it. My xbf flat out refuses to ever be my friend, but he would never admit why.

And that's just a good all-around excuse.

mar said...

does friends with benefits count as being friends with your ex? :\
yeah, i agree that it's mature of him to recognize he couldn't do it.

Anonymous said...

I don't think it's about maturity. i think that's just our instinct telling us that it's not a good idea for a reason. Probably not with EVERY case, but with most.

Glennis said...

Hah. I once ended up with one of my exes as my landlord!

He was a better landlord than he was a boyfriend!

Anonymous said...

I have remained in touch - in one form or another - with all but two of my past boyfriends.

My most recent ex is loaning me the money for first and security on a new house - that I will be living in with my new boyfriend (and most likely eventual husband). So, he's loaning me the money to start my new life. This is a man who I had to beg groceries from (to cook HIS meals!) while we were together. So, go figure.

mar said...

dude! you got caulk (ads)!

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