02 April 2009

What IS this place? What am I doing here?

What is this "blog" of which you speak? It sounds somewhat familiar...

That may have been the longest I have gone without blogging. I kept coming over here and blankly looking at the page, thinking "Yep, that's my blog. There it is."

Then I would go do something other important project, like trying to match my Mystery Socks. The most mysterious of the socks is the brown argyle one I have had since about 1997. I think I might oughta give up finding its mate. But it was such a GOOD pair of socks. Why did that one disappear and leave me pairless? *sob* My life: a never-ending string of micro-tragedies.

I have taken two days off work, so I have a four-day weekend. It was either that or Xanax. You think I'm joking? (bitter laugh).

So far I have slept in, eaten oatmeal and Girl Scout Thin Mints for breakfast, made a quadruple batch of dog food, and washed dishes 3 times (last night's, breakfast, dog food) and spent 4 hours (more or less) Twittering.

I ventured into new culinary territory by making beef-based dog food.

Until now I have only dared to cook that least meaty of meats, boneless chicken breasts. I was inspired to bust out of my rut by the sight of a big slab of pot roast for $1.47/lb. on sale at Vons.

I have never really cooked beef before and I had certainly never encountered something like a 7 bone roast.

The label said something about browning it on both sides and then braising it, which threw me into a panic. I didn't have a pan big enough to fit this monstrous cow side into to brown on both sides, and I didn't want to chop it up because I would then have to *actually touch beef.* Eeew.

I know some people cook meat every day without a problem but one of the main reasons I became a vegetarian 23 years ago is that I am too much of a wimp to handle raw meat.

The sight of a rare roast beef sandwich almost made me faint in a deli when I was about 14. I was standing there with my mom, holding the tray with sandwiches on it, looked down and became transfixed at the sight of a bloody rare pile of meat between two slices of bread.

Suddenly the world took a big swoopy turn and my mom had to grab the tray and sit me down to recover...I'm not making this up - I am truly that annoying of a person.

To attack the beast, I got out my biggest soup pot, kind of scored the roast down the middle with my sharpest knife, folded it like orgami and submerged it in water. I simmered it forever and it came out looking shreddy and burrito-meat-like. Voila.

I'm not disparaging people who eat meat - au contraire. I feel like it is me who is the lily-livered wimp and kind of admire people who can tear into a filet mignon like it is actual food and not a slab of Quivering Horror.

Clearly, I have issues. Let's look at the sunset, shall we?
Almost sunset


Kizz said...

I want this to be my new tag line: "My life: a never-ending string of micro-tragedies."

Elan Morgan said...

The Palinode and I rarely if ever buy meat for cooking at home, because it is just too much trouble in terms of cleanliness. Also, it is disgusting. I'm pretty impressed that you make your own dog food out of the stuff.

mar said...

no worries about your meat aversion. more concerns about your lack of blogging. who is supposed to entertain me so thoroughly? then again, not that mine's that interesting, but i'm lucky if i make a post a week lately.

Elvie said...

Goldie appreciates you.
Hope you have a better week from now on.

meno said...

All i noticed was the pretty pretty sunset.

Ericka said...

"My life: a never-ending string of micro-tragedies."

omg. that is awesome! i'm so stealing it.

Julie said...

Suebob, I am the same way. My father the butcher used to cut deers in the garage for neighbors and I would be sick for days. To this day, I eat meat but can NOT touch it raw.

super des said...

I'm just jealous that you had girl scout cookies. I don't think girls scouts exist around here, which is fine most of the year BUT I WANT COOKIES!
They're not in all the usual hangouts. :(

flutter said...

mmmmm mmmmeeeaaaaaat

J said...

I don't thing the dog cares whether the meat has been browned or not, so no worries. ;)

I once caught sight of some poor dead animal on the side of the road that turned me off of prime rib forever. I still eat meat, but prime rib is just too close to road kill for me.

sweatpantsmom said...

I think I have that other argyle sock over here. And another sock with monkeys on it that both of my kids swear they've never seen before.

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