15 December 2008

Can't a girl get some love?

I must say I am disappointed. I have had my new tag line "My kids are driving me crazy" up there in my header for a whole week and no one has offered me any free stuff.

I got the idea because my mommyblogger friends are always whining on Twitter about how many "pitches" they get from PR people who want to give them free swag for a mention on their blogs, all because they managed to contribute to the overpopulation problem, yet no one ever offers me, the responsible birth control-taking type ANYTHING.

Honest to pete, these bitches are all "OMG, they offered me a free trip to Disney World and it was only for three days! Can you imagine how much that sucks?" I would LOVE to imagine how much that sucks! Bring on the suckage, suckas!

So my new blogging life plan is to gradually develop a family. The tagline was my first foray into fake mommyblogging. Next, I will introduce my husband and family. Slowly, so no one notices. Well, okay, YOU, my faithful readers, may notice, but PR people are notoriously short attention-spanned, so I don't expect them to notice that after three years of single childless blogging, I suddenly developed a husband and kids.

With that, I bring you my husband, Todd (thank you google images. This man's name is actually "Clive." I kid you not.)

Now I have to make up some amusing anecdote about Todd.

Oh, gosh, Todd has been driving me nuts with his fishing! I have said before how he loves to go out on the sport fishing boats, and of course December is prime sea bass time. Well, Todd went out yesterday and came back with three giant sea bass. And what did he do with them? He left them in the kitchen sink for me to find. OMG - it totally surprised me - three giant sea bass! He knows I hate to find his big old fish in the sink and I have told him time and time again, but there they were! So I got him back. I put them in his favorite suit pants. How long do you think it will take him to notice? I hope he doesn't wear them to work that way!

Ha ha, that's life here with me and my cute hubby, Todd. How is the fishing where you are?

Disneyland, here I come! Todd is excited, too!


Unknown said...

I heart Suebob! You crack me up. For the record, NO ONE has EVER "pitched" me to pimp their stuff on my mommyblog. I also only update every month or so. Also I don't care because that's not what my blog is about (pimping products).

But back to you. My favorite part of your post is how you worded "suddenly developed a husband and kids." It sounds like a rash! Ha ha ha!

Jack said...

you kill me

Julie said...

Well, Todd looks like a very nice catch. I cannot wait to be introduced to the kids.

rockle said...

you are brilliant. and i love you.

and for the record: on my actual blog i have actual pictures of my actual child and no one EVER reads it.

except maybe my mother, but that's only because she forgets my sister's blog url and she can click over.

Anonymous said...

That was the Best. Post. Ever.

The best kind of husband, actually!

Suzanne said...

Todd is pretty cute. You sound like one lucky little lady to me. I hope that you, Todd, and the kids will take me to La Super Rica in Santa Barbara for my birthday.

(See how I worked in the trip, too? I'm so sly!)

mar said...

congratulations! where should i send the wedding shower & baby gifts? (that was what you were going for, right?)

Count Mockula said...

I'm ashamed to admit I didn't notice the tagline. If it makes you feel better, I am a pretty active mommy blogger and nobody ever pitches me anything.

Count Mockula said...

I swear to god the comment verification word right now is "duckie."

Julie Marsh said...

I am choking on my ice cream. Holy crap, you are funny!

Kaylia Metcalfe said...

Love this idea! Just found you rblog and even though I have nothing free to offer you... I will be back :)

claire said...

SueBob, i love you.

For some reason, my Google Reader has been holding on to all your posts and just dumped them all on me today. When i saw that there were 14 posts, i assumed you must have been very busy over the weekend. I guess you kind of were! I'm sure Todd is just the most wonderful husband ever and i heart you for sharing him with us. HA!

Ericka said...

omg. that's awesome! now if i can convince my mother that she DOES have grandkids, they just live online in my blog, i'm totally with you on this!

wait, you didn't really post 14 things 21 hours ago? i was all set to be further amazed at you!

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