25 July 2010

Company Policy

Any meat in there?
At my favorite burrito stand, there are 3 choices for vegetarian burritos on the menu:
Vegetarian $3.25
Vegetarian with avocado or sour cream $3.50
Vegetarian with avocado and sour cream $4.00

I always get a vegetarian with avocado, no sour cream, minus lettuce. Who wants hot lettuce mixed with beans and rice? Gack. Not me.

You'd think that would be somewhere around $3.75, California being a 7.something percent tax state.

Wrong. My burrito comes out to $4.62.

"Um, why it is $4.62 when a vegetarian burrito with avocado is $3.50 on the menu?"

"Avocado is 75 cents extra."

"But it says on the menu, vegetarian with avocado..."

"Look," she points out. "Under sides, it says, 'Avocado, 75 cents."

"Yes, but the menu SAYS vegetarian with avocado is $3.50."

"But avocado is 75 cents extra."

I stood back. I could see that my line of reasoning was going nowhere. It was time to try a different tack.

"Ok, so if I order a vegetarian burrito with avocado WITHOUT avocado, what do I get?"

"A vegetarian burrito with guacamole."

She said this as if it were the most obvious freaking thing in the whole world. Like, duh, you dumbass customer lady.

"So a vegetarian burrito with avocado WITHOUT avocado is what I want, for $3.50."

"Okay!" she agreed.

Next week I am going to try ordering a vegetarian burrito with sour cream WITHOUT sour cream. Any bets on what I will get?


VDog said...


And yes, NEVER any hot lettuce. Ewww.

flutter said...

a swift kick in the ass?

Dave2 said...

Oh yes. Vegetarians have to go through this kind of crap ALL THE TIME. Even when they have vegetarian items on the menu, it can still be a battle to actually order anything.

Devra said...

Hot lettuce is a sin, and not in a flourless chocolate cake kind of way either.

Avocado is to guacamole as sour cream is to suiza?

mar said...

argh! that reminds me of the time at my drudge job when i asked for an hour and a half off and they wouldn't let me leave 2 hours early. we were there 8.5 hours (8 hours work, .5 unpaid lunch). my boss expected me to put in 7 hours of work, then leave 1.5 hours early while they docked me 1.5 hours of vaca.
and i definitely do not miss arguing over the vegetarian option with people. *le sigh*

flurrious said...

I was told there would be no math.

Bill said...

This is why I'm scared of the future.

And @Dave2, I was at a nice dinner for my FIL's birthday on Friday. They'd arranged for a vegetarian option for my wife and me (goat cheese ravioli). When we got there, we discovered that it's mostly meat, so they apologized and brought us some special vegetarian plates instead. One of the vegetables had ham chunks in it. WTF? Nice job, chef.

meno said...

I love that the Thai restaurant i sometimes order from has a "Vegetarian Special. Choice of meat."

No lie.

angel apologist said...

"Chicken sandwich, hold the chicken"

"Where would you like me to hold it?"

"Whynt ya hold it between yer legs"

....dumps table over, grabs Karen Black, and storms out.

....a message from when real films about real people were made in U.S.

Glennis said...


Ericka said...

welcome to my life - the natives are not only completely clueless, they are convinced of their superiority and have an attitude as well. yay!

good luck with that sour cream thing.

mel said...

Insanity, but now I want a burrito.

SP said...

Like what the meaning of is is! Ridiculous. Five Easy Pieces 2010.

J said...

HA! Too funny. Duh, avocado means guac. Are you insane?

Bethany said...

Oh man, that's crazy!!

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