We have a winner

It is time to call the holiday sweater contest. Amanda of KissMyAster won out, powered by the extra momentum of Sheer Husband Humiliation.

I mean, look at the poor man. Does he LOOK like has the holiday spirit?


No, he does not. He looks as happy as my cats did whenever I had to give them flea baths. Instead of Holiday Spirit, he has the Holiday Misery. I am sure many of you can relate, as the Holiday Misery seems to be as common a phenomenon as the Holiday Spirit. Misery may even have the edge - what do you think?

Congratulations, Amanda, well done. I will email you to find out what kind of gift card you want.

The Very Modest Holiday Sweater Contest

After several weeks of begging, cajoling and extending the deadline, I got a total of THREE entries for the holiday sweater contest. With $50 on the line, I had hoped to bring a bigger crowd, but obviously no one likes me.

Without further ado, bring on the sweaters!

1. Sheri lights up the holiday with this impressive entry:


2. VDog brings the adorable little man with the nutcracker sweater:


3. And Amanda of KissMyAster shows team spirit with this duo entry


And as a non-voting entry, Mayberry Mom wanted to show off her Dad's traditional holiday pants, which are so spectacular that you may only glimpse part of them, lest you be blinded by Bright Holiday Spirit"


Thanks to all the entrants!

Please vote according to your conscience - is it good, bad, or just filled with holiday spirit? You decide who you want to win. One vote per person, please. Voting closes when I say it does.

Can't a girl get some love?

I must say I am disappointed. I have had my new tag line "My kids are driving me crazy" up there in my header for a whole week and no one has offered me any free stuff.

I got the idea because my mommyblogger friends are always whining on Twitter about how many "pitches" they get from PR people who want to give them free swag for a mention on their blogs, all because they managed to contribute to the overpopulation problem, yet no one ever offers me, the responsible birth control-taking type ANYTHING.

Honest to pete, these bitches are all "OMG, they offered me a free trip to Disney World and it was only for three days! Can you imagine how much that sucks?" I would LOVE to imagine how much that sucks! Bring on the suckage, suckas!

So my new blogging life plan is to gradually develop a family. The tagline was my first foray into fake mommyblogging. Next, I will introduce my husband and family. Slowly, so no one notices. Well, okay, YOU, my faithful readers, may notice, but PR people are notoriously short attention-spanned, so I don't expect them to notice that after three years of single childless blogging, I suddenly developed a husband and kids.

With that, I bring you my husband, Todd (thank you google images. This man's name is actually "Clive." I kid you not.)


Now I have to make up some amusing anecdote about Todd.

Oh, gosh, Todd has been driving me nuts with his fishing! I have said before how he loves to go out on the sport fishing boats, and of course December is prime sea bass time. Well, Todd went out yesterday and came back with three giant sea bass. And what did he do with them? He left them in the kitchen sink for me to find. OMG - it totally surprised me - three giant sea bass! He knows I hate to find his big old fish in the sink and I have told him time and time again, but there they were! So I got him back. I put them in his favorite suit pants. How long do you think it will take him to notice? I hope he doesn't wear them to work that way!

Ha ha, that's life here with me and my cute hubby, Todd. How is the fishing where you are?

Disneyland, here I come! Todd is excited, too!

What did you do this weekend?

I was all over the place!

I went to the mall...boy was it crowded!


I flirted with some construction workers. They seemed impressed with me.


Hung out with my new BFF. OMG my peeps, she is SO HOT!


And went to the theater. It was a really, really interesting show - to me, at least. May not be everyone's cup of tea.


Thanks, Photofunia. There are many other cool effects over there. Fun for the whole family!

Watch out for flying erasers

Sally Quinn was one of my favorite all-time teachers, even though she taught chemistry, a subject that was not among my Top 100 Preferred Topics. Botany, sure, biology, yeah, even plant pathology was more interesting (Hey, Dr. Yoshimura! I have some phytophthera with your name on it!).

But Sally Quinn made chemistry fun through her sheer force of will. She loved the subject and her self-described mission was to turn students into chemistry majors. She brought every kilowatt of her considerable energy to teaching. Being in the room with her was like being in the audience of a Tom Jones show - you knew you were witnessing someone who really loved their work.

She showed up and she expected you to show up with the same attention she did. She assigned homework, lots of it, and when you came to class, you had better have done the work because she would quiz you aloud and hold a blackboard eraser in her hand. The more you fumbled about for an answer, the further her arm would cock back until *bango* you suffered the indignity of a chalky eraser blow to the noggin. She was a good shot, too.

Her other deal was that she did not take late work. She explained how simple and relaxing this made life.

"If you're not going to do it, quit worrying about it," she said. "You don't have to think up and excuse or calculate how many points you have lost, because you CANNOT turn work in late, ever."

She would let you miss an exam however. There was one simple requirement: a note from your doctor. Stating that you were in the hospital at test time. That's all. Otherwise, no flood, fire, or earthquake was supposed to keep you from chemistry.

Even back then, as a dissolute community college student, I admired how seriously she took her work. She showed her respect for us by coming to class fired up and ready to teach. Her toughness did not come from being mean. It came from a determination to teach us chemistry and to not let us wiggle out of it with our usual stupid excuses.

It really affected me. Sally Quinn made me a better student and a better person. I wish there were more like her.