24 May 2006

Men - stupid or just clueless?

Kristen had a long, thoughtful and painfully hilarious post today about the question that every woman comes to at some point in their life: Why are men so clueless?

Haven't we all thought: How is it that men can remember every baseball batting average from all time but can't remember birthdays? Why can men spring out of bed at 6 a.m. for a golf date but can sleep through a screaming baby until 10 a.m.?

Here's my Suebobian theory: I think our brains are wired differently. Maybe 90 percent of mens' and womens' programming overlaps, but that crucial 10 percent explains car shows and the Three Stooges.

I used to be a lot madder about it. But then there was an incident that led me to realize that in many cases, men really, really just don't see the same things we do. Would you like to hear about it? Well, okay, then.

I had a couch that was made of a soft denim blue fabric. Nice couch, but my two little kitty terrors had been sharpening their claws on the corners, which were looking kind of ratty.

I went to Bed, Bath and Half Your Paycheck and got one of those nifty slipcovers that would give my couch a Fresh New LookTM for just about $129.99. I picked a nice tan fabric with roses on it because it looked so pretty on the package.

I came home and spent the next 45 minutes trying to get the thing on the couch. Tugging, fluffing, tucking. Sweating.

When I was done, the couch, instead of looking chic like in the package photo, resembled something in the lobby of a cheap hotel. The roses were the size of dinner plates. The tan was in reality sort of a mustard color. And no amount of tucking was going to hide the fact that this was just a cheap slipcover, not real upholstery.

I started hooting and laughing at the travesty my couch had become. My BF came in just then.

"What are you laughing at?" he asked.

"Look," I said.

"At what?" he asked.


He gazed around, utterly mystified.

"Did you get a hair cut?" he asked slowly.

It was then that I realized that he COULD NOT SEE that the couch was different. The couch was so far out of his realm of consciousness that he did not know whether it was blue or covered in pink cabbage roses.

So ladies, don't blame your men. I really believe that they are not trying to be jerks. We just can't see out of their eyes, and we can't see out theirs.


Anonymous said...

hehe so true!!!

Lisa said...

That's a great story. I had to laugh.

Bamboo Lemur Boys Are Mean To Their Girls said...

My ex you-know-who is just like this and she's a she.

Anonymous said...

I'm totally taking Suebobian Theory next semester.

Anonymous said...

That is hilarious. Esp. when he asked about your hair. bwahahah.

I wonder how much of it is just that they know they can get away with it?

We're busy trying to find the logic in their actions, and therefore attribute it to biology.

If we buy that it's biological, then oh well, nothing they can do about it, right?

Men then have an out - they don't even have to try to behave otherwise. They can just shrug nonchalantly and say Ooops - Biological!

tracey clark said...

Nor do we WANT to see from their eyes. Yikes, could you imagine??

P.S. Thank you dear Sue for your "vote"...I'm going to blogher and I'm giddy. I'll post about it later when I don't have a child lapping at my heels.

Mom101 said...

I think you're onto something here - maybe 90% of their brains are already tied up with remembering 3 Stooges references.

wordgirl said...

So true. I grew up as the oldest daughter of three girls. Mr. Half is the oldest son of three boys. We have three sons. My view of Nature vs. Nurture has changed dramatically since having kids. I do believe that men are taught/allowed certain behaviors and women have to toe a much straighter line that is also taught. That said, there are certain behaviors that are instinctive. Like the way little boys hang onto their "junk"...for no reason at all. What's up with that?

Back to top