22 August 2006

Doom de Doom Doom

You know I am far too delicate a flower to do any such thing, but Mr. Stapler still plays the video game "Doom" every once in a while.

The game places the player, who is armed with high-powered weapons, in a building with horrible-looking monsters who are bent on killing you. The monsters can move around and yell and make noises. It is pretty basic as far as plots go - someone must die, so try to keep it from being you.

The game has been around since 1993 and there are many player-designed variations called Doom WADs. In Mr. Stapler's favorite WAD, one of the things the Terrifying Monsters yell at the player in an attempt to frighten them is "They're all going to laugh at you!"

What a perfect line. Terrifying, indeed. "They're all going to laugh at you!" How much scarier does it get?

How much human effort is expended every single day because of the fear of getting laughed at? Industries rise and fall on the idea. Empires have been won and lost because people were afraid of getting laughed at.

Now whenever we need to, Mr. S and I screech "They're all going to laugh at you" in the monster's voice. It takes the edge off.

That's my Deep ThoughtTM to ponder for the day. How much of your life is spent doing things to keep people from laughing at you and how much of it is because what you do geniunely pleases you? Please don't stress. Just think.

If I wasn't afraid of people laughing at me, I would sing louder and more often. I would eat with my fingers. I would drive a purple car. And wear all purple clothes. Unless I wanted to wear pink. Or a feather boa. And a tiara. I would buy and wear those damn Crocs. In a tigerskin pattern.

And I would skip everywhere. Skipping is fun and a perfectly fine form of locomotion (though with my bladder control issues, I would probably have to wear Depends to get away with it). But a 45-year-old woman skipping? They're all going to laugh at me.

What is on YOUR list?

Linkateria today: short, but makes fun of Paris Hilton. What more do you want?


crazymumma said...

Oh so neat that you should post this....I have seen trailers for Doom and it scares the bejeezus out of me.

However....the other night, having a drink with a very close friend at a local bar.. I was laughing way too loud, and I realized...44 years it has taken me, that I do not give a flying F what anyone, but my children, husband and very close friends think of me. Absolute FREEDOM.

Anonymous said...

"How much of your life is spent doing things to keep people from laughing at you and how much of it is because what you do geniunely pleases you?"

Such questions are why we adore you. Not enough to sacrifice turtledoves to your glory, but when I cut a cuke later today, I'll do it for you.

ac, I'm absolutely certain about one thing: there are no absolutes. We live in a chaotic universe, in chaotic times, and we're all writhing tangles of paradoxes. Your sense of absolute freedom is ephemeral. Things will shift and your sense of self will morph. Promise.

As far as what I'd do if I weren't afraid of laughter, I'd probably wear my saggy cargo shorts to church and the t-shirt that I'd worn the prior 5 days. And I'd wear the same saggy clothes on tv. And I wouldn't moderate what I say.

But if I did these things, I'd be less effective and pushed even farther from the herds.

Bamboo Lemur Boys Are Mean To Their Girls said...

great post.
I would definitely skip along with you wherever we went. I would ask for extra bacon on everything. I would wear wedding and prom dresses everyday, even when I'm walking dogs. I would cover myself in tattoos. I would kiss and hug everyone I met who I liked. I would pat old women on their arms and call them mother and walk along with them at a very slow pace.

super des said...

gr - my friend and I have a plan to wear our wedding dresses to the supermarket.

I'd like to say there is nothing on my list. I already pretty much do what I want (examples: multi-colored hair, tattoos, arguing with security guards over who I can and can't kill).

I will say this: It's definitely more fun to do these things with a friend. Otherwise you're the crazy person on the train. But now i'm going to have to rack my brain to think of what I would do, completely uninhibited.

super des said...

I think Im going to write a whole blog about this. Thanks, Suebob.

ps. They make purple mini coopers now. I am mad that when I got mine, purple didn't exist yet. I totally would have gotten one.

Anonymous said...

Love your post, gandhi rules!

Anonymous said...

There are SO many things that I would do if I wasn't afraid that people would laugh. So many that my brain is totally clogged and I can't single one out.

Anonymous said...

"How much human effort is expended every single day because of the fear of getting laughed at?"

Suebob, I think I love you.


Anonymous said...

I would wear my Birkenstocks everyday to every event.

Oh wait - I already do that.

Okay, I would teach my kids bad words, because honestly, a little kid saying bad words is hilarious every time I hear it.

I would have named my children after Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

Debbie said...

Jack Handey was brilliant. Thanks for reminding me of him in this post.

I love that you would drive a purple car, and wear boas everywhere, while skipping.

Masked Mom said...

I was just thinking about this yesterday--I overheard two people talking in the grocery store and one of them said, "Yeah, but if you do that everyone will laugh at you." Like, truly, that's the worst thing that could happen.

To one half of me (the half still stuck in 7th grade, I guess), it is a fate worse than death--even death by Terrifying Monsters. But then the other half is like, "Screw 'em all! If they do laugh at me, I've provided amusement and that's a public service." I would say the first half is in charge somewhere around 90% of the time--that other 10%, look out!

Anonymous said...

I think my list would include things that I could do to make people laugh at me/because of me RATHER than anything else.

Something getting too serious? I gotta laugh. Something uncomfortable? Laugh away! Bored? Laughter is the best medicine! Someone sad or angry? For god's sake, I.Must.Make.Them.Laugh!

And that in itself, I do enjoy.

Anonymous said...

Jeff and his roomate in college used to play Doom a lot. I always joke that if I had known him then, there's no way we would have ever gotten together.

Now let's see.... I like to think I attempt not to care what people think but of course I do to a certain extent. If I were completely free of that kind of worry I would sing in public more, I would approach more people instead of waiting for them to approach me, I would take a job that was fun but beneath my skill level.

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