Attn David Geffen...

...and anyone else who may be trying to call.

I have zero cell phone reception at home right now. Zero. So if you are trying to reach me, leave a message and when I go out I will retrieve them. Or email me at the snackishblogATyahoo address and I will obsessively check my email every 15 minutes (like I don't anyway).

And yes, Mr. Geffen, I think we can deal.

Updated: So. I decided to take Miss Goldie out for a walk and search for cell reception at the same time. Put on my ugly ass yoga pants and ugly ass sweatshirt (a hand me down from my 80-year-old mom - THAT's how attractive it is) to go to the beach.

Drive. No reception. Keep driving. No reception. 2 miles, 3 miles, 5 miles. No freaking reception. We are at about 5 hours with no cell reception. Something is seriously wrong.

So I had to go to the cell phone store in my ugly ass dog-walking clothes to face smirking 20-year-old boys in polo shirts. They took my phone and rolled their eyes and went in the back room to no doubt talk about me. Look, I don't mind being old and hideous - I'm USED to that. Just don't make me feel crazy, too.

Soon enough, my young friends performed some kind of cell phone "master reset" magic, and I got my phone service back, minus my dignity.

Geffen hadn't called though. Hm. Must be busy getting ready for the Oscars.