25 November 2006

I imagine this is the same with diapers

Can anyone provide me answers to the following questions:

Why does the dog have to poop in the yard 3 minutes after I have cleaned up all the poop piles?

What do you do with a brillo scrubber once you have used it once and it is there all damp and threatening to get rusty? Is this a one-use item?

What do you say to strangers who want to give you stupid advice about your dog (or child)?

You know there's a story about the last one, don't you?

Goldie and I got in the Subaru Forester of LoveTM to go to the bank and then the beach. Sunroof open. Sunroof is about 18 square feet of open space (huge!!) but leaves the dog in the shade.

Parked at the bank for 30 seconds, filling out deposit slip.

"Excuse me" I hear someone say in a kind of peevish tone.

Oh, crap. This is the bank where lots of vagrants hang around the bushes. I look up at a nervous looking red-haired woman.

"Can you roll down your window so you can hear me?" she says, looking mad.

Dude. No. I am not in the habit of opening my car window for random parking lot women.

"I can hear you through the sunroof," I said.

"I'm a veterinarian and your dog is going into heatstroke. He is shaking and panting. It is very important that you give him some air."

Me: blank, hateful look.

"You REALLY NEED to give him some air if you care about him."

Me: blank, hateful look.

Normally I'm a lot kinder and more engaged. It's not that I don't appreciate the concern. Well, yeah, it is - I don't. And I especially don't appreciate the tone. And I didn't think she was a veterinarian or she wouldn't be making random, blanket statement every time saw a dog sitting in the back of the car panting after 5 minutes in the car on a 63 degree day with a huge sunroof open.

Goldie trembles. In the car. That's what she does. I have spoken to her about it and she will not stop. Going in the car sets off her trembling device and there is no way to short-circuit that.

And she pants. She pants about 80 percent of the time in the car - day, night, raining, freezing, whatever. The car is an exciting place for my girl. But when she goes by the beach where we walk almost every day, she pants like a divorcee on a date with George Clooney. Ok, maybe not that much. But a lot.

The upshot? The check got deposited. Goldie got her walk by the beach. And I talked to the stupid red-haired woman in my head all the way out to the point and back.

Update: I forgot that I should have simply pulled out my Air Book and written her advice down. Silly me.


Busy Mom said...

You should have told her that it was Goldie's dumbass detection system and it was going to go into overload if she didn't step off.

Anonymous said...

Oh geez. I think you did great with the blank hateful look. And yes, it's much the same routine when you have a baby and other people feel that you have dressed your baby inappropriately for the weather.

Carolie said...

I've finally learned that the best thing for me is to say something along the lines of "thank you for your concern" (with sincerity and a smile if at all humanly possible--but we know that those things are NOT always possible!) and turning away.

As for the Brillo scrubber, wring it out the best you can, and put it in a ziplock bag in the freezer. Takes mere seconds to thaw, and stops the rust. Otherwise, the damn thing rusts away before you can use it more than once!

With the dog (or child) pooping the moment previous poop has been cleaned up/removed, my only suggestions involve judicious use of a cork...and people (and dogs) tend to frown on such suggestions.

Chicky Chicky Baby said...

On behalf of dog professionals everywhere, I Am So Sorry. We see and hear of so many horrible cases that sometimes we (and I mean them, I haven't stepped out of line yet) get a little hot under the collar and overstep our bounds.

And i think dogs like a really clean bathroom, that's why they poop after you clean up.

meno said...

For unsolicited advice, you need to have a really tiny baby. then every female in the vicinity will tell you what you are doing wrong, including your mom.

Momcani said...

My dog pants anytime she even looks at the car. As for advise from strangers, I am far too mean looking for any one to even think to approach me with advice. I worked very hard to get this look down pat. Wish I could teach you. Sorry.

As for the Brillo pad, isn't it against the law to throw it away before it rust? Might just be a Nebraska law.

Suzanne said...

What busy mom said.

Peevish said...

Listen, if you're trying to kill a dog, let's just swap now. I'll take Goldie and you can have Kelly. NQA.

stampydurst said...

I consider Brillos a single use item due to the rust factor. And I forget everything I've ever put in the freezer that wasn't labelled "vodka" or "ben and jerrys", so that helpful suggestion is out.

As far as unsolicited dog advice goes, I usually find it difficult to control myself and exclaim loudly, "Wow! That is some really great advice! I can't believe I didn't think of that! You must be a fuckin' genius!" About this time, the offender usually decides I'm insane and starts to back away slowly. That always puts a smile on my face.

SUEB0B said...

I am so pleased by the Brillo freezer lesson, Carolie! That is brilliant!

super des said...

I am not a nice person, so when someone gives me "advice" I say things to them that can't be printed here.

Amanda said...

My dog came with serious abandonment issues so when we first rescued him, I took him literally everywhere I went (when it wasn't too hot). People would leave nasty notes on the car because he would whine when I left him . "YOU SHOULD LEAVE YOUR DOG AT HOME!" etc... Little did they know that when I left him at home it was a million times worse! When we were in the car, he knew I was coming back.

At least dogs don't poop ON YOU while you're cleaning up their shit!

Carolie said...

Wish I could take credit for it, Suebob, but I read it on a blog somewhere... I'd give credit if I could remember where I read it!

Anonymous said...

Whip out your rectal thermometer and tell the "vet" to calm down. Offer to let her check...
Lonely people, bob.

Anonymous said...

It's people like her that make me wish tazers were legal..

Anonymous said...

That air book comes in handy on a lot of occasions :o)

Also, while you're asking, maybe you could figure out why my cat, who spends half of her life outdoors, still comes inside to use the litterbox and then waits until it's been cleaned to do so.

Mama Bub said...

Well. My dog pants in the car, too. The minute we get in the car, he pants like he's just run a dog marathon and doesn't stop until we get to our destination. Also, doesn't the same rule that applies to young children, apply to dogs? If you're not hot/uncomfortable, then they're not either?

It's kind of fun to comment on a post that was written five years ago! Surprise!

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